Saturday, June 25, 2016

Religious Rehab

I used to cringe when I saw people with tattoos.  I confess it made me uncomfortable.  I was told that the only people who got tattoos were people who went to prison. When someone would say a "bad word" I would shake my head in dismay.  Drinking alcohol made you a sinner, dancing was for the ungodly and if you wore jeans or shorts of any kind, you were not a real "Christian lady".

In middle school, I was in an extremely legalistic and religious church and from an early age I was told that behavior modification was a big, huge deal and that if you didn't have the right behavior you were to be shunned or avoided.  So I acted accordingly.

Then I rebelled.

I would still pretend to be a "good Christian girl" on Sundays and at youth group activities, but I began making choices that did not line up with the expectation of my church when I wasn't there. I felt like everything I did was judged and I honestly couldn't measure up. Eventually, by the time I reached college, I ran from church.  All the rules were weighing me down.  Religion without relationship always equals rebellion.  All the judgment was making me cynical.  Something was missing and I knew it. I had it backwards. I was trying to change from the outside in, but God wanted to change me from the inside out.

Ezekiel 36:26 tells us that God wants to give us a new heart.  He wants to remove our old, stony, stubborn heart and replace it with a "heart of flesh".  He will put His Spirit in us so that we can obey.  This tells me something huge.  If His Spirit is not in us, we will not obey.  I mean, we can pretend to change.  We can't really obey from our heart though.  We just have an outward behavior modification program of sorts.  It will never last.  If our hearts don't change, our behavior may change on the outside, but all that religion on the inside will eventually lead to rebellion.

In 2003, I gave my heart to Christ and He replaced it with a new heart.  This one wants to obey.  This one doesn't want to judge, shun or wag my finger at anyone.  This one loves deeply.  This one is super-natural and it's Christ in me - the Hope of Glory! This heart knows that an outward appearance of "godliness" doesn't always mean that person is "holier" than another. God is not as concerned with our outward behavior as He is with our heart condition.  If we have pristine behavior, but our heart is still made of stone, God is not impressed.  If we have a new heart of flesh, given to us by Christ, but our behavior is still a work in progress, God is pleased.  It goes against all we think we know!

What's worse?  Someone with tattoos who is still addicted to alcohol but loves his neighbor as himself and pursues Jesus or the one who has a "clean life" and is told to love his neighbor as himself and doesn't?  We usually shun those who do the latter, but isn't it a sin to overlook the addicted and afflicted?  It's so sad to me how we often reject those who are changed more on the inside than they really look on the outside yet, but we open our arms to the ones who are cleaned up on the outside, but are loveless, gossiping and judgmental.  Which one do you suppose Jesus would approve of? (If you still aren't sure you know the answer, read this.)

I do believe God is still working that false religion out of my heart, though.  It's like "religious rehab" of sorts.  Every day I realize I'm still stuck in some of my old thought patterns.  It's a little different now, though.  Now, I find I'm pretty judgmental toward the religious folks. The ones who are still shutting people out.  The ones who are turning people away because of how they look or what they do.  But my being judgmental toward the "judgmental" isn't good, either.  They are only doing what they have been taught to do and they really think they are doing what is right. They are misguided.

Oh, Lord, help me.

There's quite a few of us who have been so "religionized" that we've lost sight of what really matters.  Jesus came to save the broken and the lost, not the ones who think they have it all together.  Even though my new heart does not want to do the same old habits of judging, finger wagging and being cynical, I still do them sometimes.  But it grieves my heart.  And I want to change.  Because Christ has changed me from the inside out, I realize He is constantly changing my heart for people and I want to do things that please Him. He has changed me (and continues to change me) from the inside out.

We all need Jesus.  We are all messed up in some way.  We all have sins we are dealing with.  Are we so worried about being "God's Gestapos" and pointing out the sins of others than we are not allowing Him to show us our own sin?

Oh, Lord, help us all.

You may think you can condemn such people, but you are just as bad, and you have no excuse! When you say they are wicked and should be punished, you are condemning yourself, for you who judge others do these very same things...Since you judge others for doing these things, why do you think you can avoid God's judgment when you do the very same things? Don't you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to do you? Can't you see that His kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?  (Romans 2:1, 3-4)

Thursday, June 23, 2016

Yes, I Got a Tattoo Today!

Today I got my first tattoo! Some of you just gasped in horror and others of you want to fist bump me and welcome me into the club. I know the drill.  Actually, I've wanted this tattoo since 2007, the year I was on Survivor China. I wanted to share my "why" before I shared the photo of how it turned out.

I will start my story with a journal entry I wrote just before we were released into the Chinese jungle on Survivor.  We were in China, but we were not playing the game yet (we had about a week or so before the game started but we were not allowed to talk or form relationships).  I wrote in my journal to pass the time and to try to remember every moment as my dream was unfolding.  This particular journal entry really touches my heart...
 
June 21, 2007
I’m really getting anxious to begin this adventure called Survivor! Can’t wait to get things moving. I must say I’m enjoying the quietness and peace though. I spent some time outside, overlooking the water in the lagoon today and listened to worship music. It’s so beautiful here. I feel like the dragonflies (which are everywhere!) have some significance but I can’t put my finger on it. They remind me of God’s presence and protection for some reason. It’s a strange and yet such a beautiful feeling.
 
Days later, after I wrote this, I had to giggle when I was placed on the Fei Long tribe, which translated in Chinese means "Flying Dragon". Sure, it could be a coincidence but I don't really believe in coincidences. After all, God is sovereign!

I noticed dragonflies reflect the sun's light beautifully. Their wings almost look like a rainbow in the sun's reflective light, which reminded me of a promise God made back in the days of Noah. I saw many of them at our camp and if you watch the China season of Survivor, you will notice several times where they got an up-close shot of a dragonfly with the camera.

A couple of weeks after I returned from China, I went to visit my sister, Marie in Minnesota. We went up to her husband's family lake house for a few days and while we were sitting in the back yard talking, I saw hundreds of dragonflies again. I told Marie about how I had seen so many in China and showed her the journal entry where I talked about how there was something about them that made me feel God's presence and protection. Just then, as I sat in the grass in the yard discussing my journal entry, a dragonfly landed on my left foot. It just sat there. I was speechless. Then, as if on cue, another one landed on my sister's left foot - in the same exact location! I'm not even kidding. We didn't move and we both held our breath as we watched them sit for about thirty seconds before they both flew off at the same time. We giggled like little school girls who had just been noticed by the good looking quarterback! In that instant we decided that one day, we would tattoo this moment on our feet as a reminder of the beauty of that moment. As if that wasn't cool enough....

I was in Nashville a few months later and Steve Brown with Key Life radio was there delivering a Keynote speech. It was a Christian Radio Broadcasters Conference. He mentioned the dragonfly and when he did, my ears perked up. He was talking about how he read a great book called Brother to a Dragonfly by Will Campbell. He said that Will compares the dragonfly to a brother in Christ. Here's what he said:

Once the dragonfly comes out of the depths and darkness of the deep waters, they are exposed to a whole new world. A waterless world where they can fly and be free! They fly around a bit but then go back and hover over the water, trying to get down to where those they love are stuck in the darkness of the deep water to tell them "Hey! You can fly too! Come out and experience this new life!"

It's like the dragonfly can't help himself. He has seen and tasted what life can be like when he emerged from the darkness, and as if by instinct he can't help but go back to tell others. I can totally relate!

Tears streamed down my face as I realized that those dragonflies in China served as a reminder to me that maybe, just maybe, God had me there because He knows I've got a desire to let people know that there is freedom in the Light. As a follower of Jesus Christ, I reflect the Son's light - just like dragonflies reflect the sun's light.
Marie is on the left - I am on the right. 

This is my heart - to reach those who are living in darkness and show them the truth of Jesus Christ and the freedom that He brings to us when we trust in Him and follow Him. "Come out! Look - there is freedom in this new life - you don't have to live in the deep darkness anymore!"

I should know, I came from deep darkness, too. But now I'm free to fly - free to soar like wings of eagles and experience the freedom in my life that I never knew was possible. Why wouldn't I want to tell others? It's like an instinct. And now, my sister and I get to share this story with everyone who asks us about our dragonfly tattoo on our left foot.  We have been deeply impacted by something and our tattoos are a beautiful invitation to others to ask us about a moment in our lives that took our breath away. And we can share the love of Christ at the same time.

That is why I got a tattoo. :) And I love it.


Friday, June 10, 2016

Busy Signal

Remember the "busy signal"? Ugh. It was so frustrating. Back in the day before our precious little "cell phones", we had to make phone calls on a phone attached to a wall (Egads!) and when we would try to call someone, this obnoxious "beep...beep...beep..." blasted into our ear to let us know that whomever we were trying to reach, well, they're just too "busy" for us right now. It's interesting to me that we never hear the busy signal anymore, yet I would venture to say that our lives reflect more busyness than ever with all of our electronic devices at our fingertips. These days, if you want to reach someone, you will never hear that obnoxious sound.

This morning I was trying to focus in my quiet time with the Lord but first I decided I would open my computer to check my email since I get several quality devotionals sent to my inbox each morning.  I love reading them.  The only problem is, often when I open my laptop, I get sucked into distraction and before I realize it, my "quiet time" has turned into anything but quiet time.  I mean, the room is quiet, but my mind is not.  I've checked my email, my facebook, my twitter and I've caught up with the world's news.  But that time spent, quiet in the presence of Almighty God, is absent and I feel it in my spirit.  I begin to grieve.  I've done it again.  My bible is lying right beside me, unopened.  My heart sinks.

Maybe that is why I feel like when God is ready to "download" some important truths, some foundational precepts, into my heart and mind but He keeps finding a busy signal.  My mind is busy.  So busy, in fact, that I often forget what I'm doing and go off on little rabbit trails in my mind that take me far from the presence of God.  

I read this verse the other day and it sent shivers up my spine:  Though the Lord gave you adversity for food and suffering for drink He will still be with you to teach you. You will see your teacher with your own eyes. Your own ears will hear Him. Right behind you a voice will say, "This is the way you should go", whether to the right or to the left.  Then you will destroy all of your silver idols and your precious gold images. You will throw them out like filthy rags, saying to them, "Good riddance!" (Isaiah 30:20-22)

So...what was it about this verse that sent shivers up my spine?  Well, it was the part that says, then you will destroy all of your silver idols...".  My MacBook Pro is silver, and it's an idol to me when I choose to spend time with it before I spend time with my God.  Isaiah was saying that once you've experienced the presence of God and the leading of God, you will do away with those silver idols out of a pure desire to hear from Him.  Granted, I'm pretty sure he wasn't talking about a computer in the year 2016, but you get the idea. Once you've tasted what it's like to be in the presence of God, nothing else can compare!  

Please hear me here: I don't believe computers are bad at all - but I do believe that when we choose to use them over spending time with God, that is wrong.  It eats my time up like a moth on cloth.  It distracts me and prevents me from experiencing true intimacy with God.  So, at times, it is my "silver idol" and it must be destroyed. 

Now, please don't think this is as drastic as it sounds.  I'm not going to go blow up my MacBook Pro.  I'm not even going to get rid of it - I need it for the work I do.  But today I'm going to promise God in the presence of those who read my blog, that I will not open it until I've spent my quiet time with Him.  I can feel the difference on those days when He is first and I need that daily.  I'm deceiving myself if I think for one moment that I can do this without Him!  I need the accountability and I need the focus. 

I know He has much to show me and download into my heart and mind and until the busy signal is gone, it will evade me.  So I'm going to free up the line.  I'm going to free up my heart.  I'm going to free up my ears to hear from Him.  Once I've heard from Him, I know I can freely open my silver MacBook Pro and as I hear from the world, my facebook friends, my tweeters and the news, I will be hearing it through the filter of His Truth.

I can already hear Him saying, "I have so much more for you.  You only have to be still and listen." 

So the Lord must wait for you to come to Him so He can show you His love and compassion. For the LORD is a faithful God.  Blessed are those who wait for His help.  (Isaiah 30:18)

Monday, May 23, 2016

The Magic Kingdom

This is a post I wrote a few years ago. Something inside of me wanted to share it with you again today. As we all plan our fun, family vacations this summer may we always remember that the BEST is yet to come....

Let the memories begin!  Disney's motto is written all over the flags that adorn the outside of their theme parks.  We were giddy with anticipation on the outside gates of Disney's Magic Kingdom at about ten minutes until opening time while we slathered sunscreen all over us and prepared for a day of fun as we park-hopped all across the four theme parks.  We decided this would be the cheapest way to experience the parks - and yet it still cost us an arm and a leg for four people.  We'd better have fun! 

Memories of my childhood came flooding back to me like a tidal wave.  We spent a lot of time at Disney when I was a kid - but it was the one over in California (Disney Land).  I teared up a bit as the Mayor came out, along with all of the Princesses and characters waving and welcoming all of us at the gates as we counted down from ten to one and the gates magically opened to our day of fantasy and adventure!

We squeezed through the narrow gates of the park entrance with thousands of other people who imagined this might be a good week to come, since it wouldn't be so crowded (yeah, right - it's Disney!) and were face to face with Main Street USA.  All the people who were working in the stores were standing outside in their fun and bright costumes, waving and smiling - so happy to see us!  

It was all so "perfect".  Walt Disney has managed to tap into something inside of each of us that few people have managed to tap into.  What is it?  Fantasy?  Dreams?  Wishes?  Magic?  It's amazing to me that Walt Disney was fired from a job as a young man for not being creative enough. There's something about this place that makes everyone who goes there turn into a fool to experience it.  We spend outlandish amounts of money for this experience.  We travel great distances.  We purchase over-priced food and souvenirs.  We walk at least ten miles in a day and endure crowds of people that would normally make us run for the hills.  There was even a recent news story of a woman who tried to sell her newborn baby for $15,000 to take her other children to Disney World.  Unbelievable.  I'm telling you - this is powerful.  I'm intrigued.  

As the morning progressed, we found ourselves looking around as we stood in long lines, watching small kids come unglued as they were tired, hot and done with all the "fun".  People were getting frustrated and complaining about the heat, the crowds, the waiting, the price.  Then a minute later they would pose with a Disney character and all would be well - everyone smiling.  

I know I may seem cynical and I sincerely apologize if it seems that way.  But I am really struggling to understand what it is that we are all drawn to in this fantasy world that doesn't really exist?  Where is the authenticity of this fantasy land?  Is it that what we're drawn to, after all - a place where everything seems perfect and filled with joy, laughter and unity?  If so...why are we looking here?

Friends, as much fun as we had in between the frustrating parts of our Disney trip the other day (and I will admit - it was fun - I'm not trying to deny that!), The Magic Kingdom has nothing - and I mean nothing - on The Kingdom of God.  And His Kingdom is one that lasts forever.  I'll never have to go back.  That is something I'm willing to be a fool for.  I suppose that's why I do what I do - speak and write about His Kingdom.  I think this is why Walt Disney was able to tap into that place in all of us that has made his earthly kingdom very rich...we all have a place in our hearts and souls that longs for this Kingdom.

Oh, friend, can't you see it?  Listen....everyone is eager to enter into God's Kingdom and it can only be entered through a narrow gate, but must be entered into by those who are like children (Matt. 5:3, Matt. 7:13 & Luke 16:16) It is goodness and peace and joy - only it's authentic because it's based on God's Spirit, not a fake smile given by someone who's not really feeling joy down deep (Romans 14:17).  It's a place where we will share in God's glory and be where Jesus Christ is (not a fantasy land with a pretend mouse that has a squeaky voice) and it will be unshakable and will stand forever! (1 Thess. 2:12, Hebrews 12:28, 2 Peter 1:11; Daniel 2:44).

Maybe the reason Walt Disney is such a genius is because he's discovered how to market that void in all of us that screams for filling from God and he's shown that when it's tapped into, people are willing to do just about anything to fill it.  It's a place that God put inside of each of us so we would search for Him.  Disney is an expensive and temporary substitute that satisfies us only for a moment...but it can never replace that void inside all of us that is specifically there for God's Kingdom.  We yearn for it with everything in us...and though it cost Jesus everything to offer us this Kingdom, it won't cost us a cent. He just wants our heart.


Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Do We All Pray to the Same God?

During one of my radio interviews after my appearance on Survivor, one of the announcers at a radio station said to me, "I consider myself a Christian, but I must say I was very disappointed in you for leaving that Buddhist ceremony on Survivor. I mean, we all pray to the same God, right? Would Jesus really have been upset with you for bowing to Buddha and praying?"

I thought about that question. I mean, I suppose you could say some religions do appeal to the same God - God Almighty. However, if you believe that the Bible is God's Word to us, it is very clear that Jesus Christ said in John 14:6, "I am the Way, the Truth and the Life - no man comes to the Father except through Me."  He didn’t say “A way, A truth or A life,” He clearly said He is the way, the truth and the life. That tells me there is no other.

So my answer was just that. I told her that we may appeal and pray to the same God, but since the Bible is clear that Jesus said, "I am the Way, the Truth and the Life - no man comes to the Father except through Me," then we need to understand that not everyone is getting through. The only way to get to God is through Jesus.  Jesus is our Mediator!  Without Him, we may have good intentions, but our prayers will not get through.

As I thought about my conversation with the radio host later in the day, I realized that I've actually heard it said a lot - we all pray to the same God, so why aren't we accepting of one another's religions and beliefs and let people do what they feel they want to do.  We are told not to let it divide us, to just allow them to believe what they want to believe.  This is a way to be accepting and tolerant, they add.  

Can I just say that I am so glad that my friends did not allow me to continue to believe that my way was working!  Oh, but by God's grace He sent these precious people into my life to challenge what I thought was true.  I'm so thankful they risked everything to share His truth with me. I could have turned them down, shut them out of my life and ignored them. But I didn't.  The risk of losing me as a friend was nothing to them compared to the importance of showing me the truth. What a gift!

Jesus Christ said, "I did not come to bring peace, but to divide" (Luke 12:51). Why would He say something like that? Perhaps He knew that we would have to take a stand at some point and say that He is the only Way - and not everyone would agree with us, therefore causing divisions. I believe this breaks His heart, but it's something we see every day. It comes down to this important point: Do I believe the Bible is the Word of God, completely true and reliable and that Jesus Christ is who He said He is? If I do believe, then I know that the scriptures are true. HE is the Only Way. Yes, sometimes it will divide.  But sometimes it will show someone we love the important, life-saving truth that Jesus Christ is the only way to God.

It's time to take a stand for truth. That doesn't mean imposing my beliefs on others, or arguing; but it does mean I should be very confident in my beliefs and not afraid to speak truth (with gentleness and respect - 1 Peter 3:16) when necessary.  I didn't get into an "I'm right and you're wrong" argument with the radio host, but I just spoke the Word of God and let it speak for itself. I remembered that Jesus "opened not His mouth" (Isaiah 53:7) when confronted by others. I hope that it planted a seed in her heart. God’s Word has a way of doing that, you know.

Is there a situation in your life today where you may need to take a stand?  Are you willing to stand up and speak truth (in love), even if it means you might be rejected? Jesus is not asking us to do anything He wasn’t willing to do Himself.  Isaiah 53:3 says He was despised and rejected by men.  But we all know that in spite of how it was initially received by people, His stand for truth has opened the door for many to follow Him and have a restored relationship with God through His sacrifice. When asked why He came, Jesus simply said, "I have come to testify to the truth."

Truth wins, friends. Never be afraid to stand for it. 

Thursday, April 14, 2016

Troublemakers

Remember being in your second grade classroom and the one kid in there who caused all the trouble made the teacher punish everyone? I would get so frustrated when my teacher didn't listen to me - only to the loudmouth. I was nothing like that troublemaker, but because he or she was in my group, I was punished and misunderstood. Their hateful, loud words did not represent my heart. But that was all my teacher could hear.

I think that troublemaker follows us in some form or fashion throughout our lives. They are the ones who make entire groups of people seem awful. They are the ones we hone in on when we "type-cast". They are the ones who stir up anger, start fights and misrepresent the entirety of the people. 

Unfortunately, they are the ones who get all the attention.

Proverbs 6:16-19 (MSG)

Here are six things God hates, and one more that He loathes with a passion: 
eyes that are arrogant,
a tongue that lies, 
hands that murder the innocent, 
a heart that hatches evil plots, 
feet that race down a wicked track, 
a mouth that lies under oath, 
a troublemaker in the family.

See. Even God "loathes them with a passion." Make no mistake, these people are no good. 

Perhaps it's time we stop focusing in on that troublemaker, sit down and really listen to the others - the ones who are genuinely trying to be and do better in life. The ones who are trying to be understood but continually get misunderstood. Otherwise, perhaps we will end up being the troublemaker.

Proverbs 22:10-12  (MSG)
Kick out the troublemakers and things will quiet down;
    you need a break from bickering and griping!
God loves the pure-hearted and well-spoken;
    good leaders also delight in their friendship.
God guards knowledge with a passion,
    but he’ll have nothing to do with deception.

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Light and Darkness



"This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God."  
John 3:19-21


Light is a beautiful thing. It's warm, inviting, revealing, life-giving and we are naturally drawn to it in a dark room. If we even see a small speck of light, that is exactly where our eyes naturally go. Light makes the trees grow upward and outward, the flowers bloom and the birds sing! It's beautiful. God describes Himself as Light and He even says there is no darkness in Him at all. Jesus said, "I am the Light of the World". It makes sense we are drawn to the light.

 Jesus spoke to the people once more and said, “I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life.” John 8:12

Darkness, on the other hand is cold, secretive, frightening at times, and the only things that grow in the darkness are deadly things like mold, moss and fungus. Sin can also grow in the darkness. Just as life grows in light, 
death grows in darkness. 

The more we keep things hidden without sharing what our struggle is with a trusted friend or confidant, the more likely it is to grow. The moment you share something that you know is keeping you from God's best for your life with a trusted friend (who will pray with and for you and not gossip) is the moment it loses it's grip on your life. Yet, we keep things hidden anyway, usually out of fear of judgment or a desire to keep it hidden because we have convinced ourself that it is not destructive and we want to continue the behavior.

Jesus replied, “There are twelve hours of daylight every day. During the day people can walk safely. They can see because they have the light of this world. But at night there is danger of stumbling because they have no light.” John 11:9-10

May I suggest that if we want to keep something hidden, that is a clear indicator that the secret is destructive. Life grows in light. 
Death grows in darkness.

Darkness becomes very comfortable after awhile, though. It lulls us to sleep and gives us a false sense of "comfort". Think about how it feels after you've been asleep in a dark room and someone comes in and flips on a bright light. You immediately wince, cover your eyes and perhaps even get a bit angry at whomever it was that flipped on the light. Light is revealing. But after awhile, you begin to adjust and realize that if you want to live, you must be awake. You must walk in the Light.

But if we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin. 1 John 1:7

My prayer today is that if God is bringing something to "light" in your heart, you will embrace it and not run from it. Share your heart with a trusted friend who loves the Lord and seek God's best for your life. We think we know the right thing, but our hearts are desperately deceived. Painful as it may be, walking in the Light is truly the way to Life.

One last thing to remember in our journey: Mold can be deadly, but when it is processed it can also be medicinal. God can use the brokenness and difficulties in your life that came from a dark place to heal someone's heart once you go through His merciful process of healing. 
He is the Redeemer!  
He wastes nothing. 

What I tell you now in the darkness, shout abroad when daybreak comes. What I whisper in your ear, shout from the housetops for all to hear! -Matthew 10:27

Thursday, March 24, 2016

Letting Go

Letting go is hard business. I would know, as I've had to let go of a lot of things, people and dreams in my life. Sometimes I hold on to things with white knuckles because I'm so afraid to let go. Recently, this was the case in my life.

I have worked in Christian radio for about 12 years now and honestly, I'm not sure I've ever loved a job as much as I love encouraging people over the airwaves. But almost a year ago, my husband and I purchased a fitness center in downtown Travelers Rest, feeling that God was leading us to this sweet community. I knew when I signed the papers last June that I needed to go "all in" with it. And I have - for the most part. 

One thing I have had a hard time letting go of was my very part-time job at 106.9 The Light. I was a weekend radio host and though it wasn't a lot of hours, I'm kind of a perfectionist when it comes to show prep and I really believe that if you're going to do something, you should do it with excellence. I did cut back my hours and let a couple of things go a few months back, but I couldn't bring myself to let go completely. Even still, I wasn't giving it my best and I knew it. I had a hard time focusing and I could feel God telling me it was time to let go.

I guess my difficulty in letting go can be summed up in one word: fear. Yes, the dreaded word that can get us stuck and give us anxiety had invaded my heart and I was allowing it to make it's home there. But what was causing the fear? 

When we bought this fitness center, we knew it was God directing our steps. He wanted us all in and He made that very clear. If you've ever done business before, though, you know that it takes awhile to make a profit (or even break even) and a huge majority of small businesses do not succeed. I think I was afraid to go all in, just in case it didn't work. I wanted to have a safety net. I guess there was fear that if I left completely, I wouldn't have that job to go back to if it didn't work out. Sounds logical, but if you have ever walked with God, you know logical is not always His way! In my prayer time last week, as I prayed for wisdom in making this decision, I had the thought, "Where's the faith in that?" Honestly, I knew I wasn't trusting God to make this work enough to let go. 

Another thing that filled my heart with fear was that I love to encourage people on the radio. I think radio ministry is such a beautiful tool that God uses to reach into hearts and share His love. I love being a part of that! I didn't want to let that go. As I prayed, I realized that He has given me a place to do that, though it's not on the airwaves. It's in a little town in SC called Travelers Rest at HUB Fitness. And honestly, I needed to go all in.

So I told my supervisor (who, by the way, had been praying for me for months since she knew I had been struggling) that it was time to let go. She completely understood. I couldn't stop sobbing, though. It was sobs of grief and relief all at the same time. It hurt a lot more than I thought it would and I wanted to retract it as soon as I said it but I didn't allow myself to do that.

Letting go is one of the most difficult things God asks us to do. I am beginning to realize more and more, though, that God is just waiting for us to let go and go all in so He can go all in, too. I have to wonder if I was inadvertently holding Him back from blessing our business fully because I was unwilling to go all in and trust Him? Time will tell. 

But one thing I know, I'm sure I did the right thing. And I know that even if things don't go as I hope and pray they will with our fitness center, God has a plan for my life. He didn't give me the gift of encouragement so I'd sit on a shelf somewhere. I can actively seek ways to do this, on or off the radio, whatever role He brings to me and whomever He brings into my life!

If you are holding on with white knuckles to something God is clearly asking you to let go of, please pray hard and ask Him to give you the strength to let go. Before we can truly live, it seems a part of us must die. Letting go of something we hold dear to us can feel like a death, but we all know what Jesus did to death! Resurrection is coming, friend. Let Go(d).


Thursday, March 3, 2016

How Then, Shall We Act?

It's a rough world out there. And right now, in America, it's even more rough as we are in an election year. Nothing stirs up our passions, anger, frustration and opinions like politics! Whew, it can get down right ugly. So, how are we supposed to act as believers in a world like this? Let's take a look at what the Ultimate Authority has to say on the subject...

If you look at the stories of the great leaders of the Bible - Joseph, Nehemiah, Esther, Daniel, etc...you will find that every single one of them respected and submitted to the authority that was above them. Because of their submission and humble attitude, they found favor in the sight of not only the kings and leaders, but in the sight of God and all without compromising their values and morals. 

All this does not mean that we are to disobey God in situations where the law of man may conflict with the law of God (Acts 4:18-20; 5:40) but we are told to continue to respect authority—even when those in positions of authority have abused their offices (or we think they likely will).  If we want to be heard, if we want to make our points clear, we must be humble and submissive. The fact is, God can use us in the midst of even the most corrupt leadership! He did it time and time again in the Bible. So, what do we do?
 
Micah 6:8 says "The Lord has told you what is good, and this is what He requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God. 
 
Are we showing mercy to those we oppose? Are we being loving in our approach? Gentle? Humble? Patient? Maybe instead of putting people down and being angry and slanderous, we can show mercy and faith in our God and pray for them? We cannot forget who our battle is really against (Ephesians 6) here. It's not other people, it's not leadership - it's the enemy of our souls. And he's awfully bitter, incredibly angry and is the king of slander.

It all boils down to this: God wants us to be respectful and submissive for His sake, not for ours or even theirs (1 Peter 2:13). Perhaps this is one of those times when we can come together, in agreement, and begin to do what is right, love mercy and walk humbly with our God - the Ultimate Authority. We can't do that when we are walking in anger, fear or bitterness. 
 
Here's how we can do it:

SUBMIT:  Romans 13:1-2 Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God. So anyone who rebels against authority is rebelling against what God has instituted and will be punished. 

DO NOT SLANDER OR QUARREL:  Titus 3:1-2 Remind the believers to submit to the government and its officers. They should be obedient, always ready to do what is good. They must not slander anyone and must avoid quarreling. Instead, they should be gentle and show true humility to everyone.

RESPECT: 1 Peter 2:13-14 For the Lord's sake, respect all human authority - whether the king as head of state, or the officers he has appointed. For the king has sent them to punish those who do wrong and to honor those who do right.

PRAY & LIVE PEACEFULLY:  1 Timothy 2:1-3 I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them. Pray this way for kings and all who are in authority so that we can live peaceful and quiet lives marked by godliness and dignity. This is good and pleases God our Savior, who wants everyone to be saved and to understand the truth.
 
Oh, and please - VOTE!

Thursday, January 14, 2016

Wonder Woman?

I found a book in my husband's office the other day called I Married Wonder Woman - Now What?  I suppose at first I was a little flattered.  My husband thinks I'm Wonder Woman?  How sweet!  Then I realized it was a book about the Proverbs 31-type woman of this century (a P31 woman is a woman that the bible talks about who has is a sort of wonder woman). Someone who's got it all together, who is organized, efficient, and has a great balance in her life as she seeks and conquerors the next big adventure!

Nope.  Doesn't sound like me at all! 

Ok, I admit it - I do seek adventure.  But organized?  Having it all together? Efficient?  Balance? Not so much.  I mean, I try.  I try a little too hard at times.  I must admit it's tough being a woman today.  And if I am being compared to Wonder Woman, the stakes are raised even more!  I mean, have you seen how tiny her waist is? 

Have you ever looked at another woman and thought that she had it all together?  I hope you never looked at me that way.  It couldn't be further from the truth!  But if that's the case - if people think that - then I'm doing something wrong.  I must be wearing some sort of mask (does Wonder Woman wear a mask?).  Today I'm feeling the need to rip that mask off though, and let you know how it really goes down for me in my house:

Proverbs 31:11 Her husband can trust her; and she will greatly enrich his life.
Reality:  My husband must remind me to do just about everything and I often feel as though I probably make his life more difficult sometimes.  He says it's a good balance and that without me he'd be too straight-laced.  I say I'm blessed to have a husband who looks at it that way.

Proverbs 31:12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
Reality:  I wish.  It seems he spends a great deal of his time fixing things that I mess up because I tend to act before I think.  God bless him for loving me in spite of this!

Proverbs 31:13  She find wool and flax and busily spins it.
Reality:  I don't know what flax is and the only time I spin is in my cycle class.

Proverbs 31:14  She is like a merchant's ship, bringing her food from afar.
Reality:  The grocery store is like a mile up the road.  I bring our food from aclose, not afar.  And sometimes, I bring it from Taco Bell.

Proverbs 31:15 She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the days work for her servant girls.
Reality:  I do get up before dawn but I don't do it to prepare breakfast - I do it to have some quiet time before the household wakes up.  Once they do, they pretty much fend for themselves with breakfast because I usually enjoy my quiet time a little too much and then wake them up late.  And about preparing a plan for my servant girls....um...I wish I had some servant girls to prepare a plan for!  This verse makes me realize that the P31 woman gets a lot of help and maybe THAT's why she's so amazing?!

Proverbs 31:17  She is energetic and strong, a hard worker.
Reality:  I hit a wall by about 3pm and slide down from there.  Coffee helps.

Proverbs 31:18  She makes sure her dealings are profitable; her lamp burns late into the night.
Reality:  I am lucky to make it to 10pm. 

Proverbs 31:22 She makes her own bedspreads.  She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.
Reality:  Seriously?  I don't sew.  And I don't wear linen because it requires dry cleaning and pressing - no thank you.  I rarely wear purple - mostly black because I hear it's slimming.

Proverbs 31:26  When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.  
Reality:  When I speak, I usually try to take back what I said because it didn't come out the way I intended.  I try to give instructions with kindness but if I were honest, I'd admit that it doesn't always happen that way.  I can be kind of cranky at times.

Proverbs 31:28 Her children stand and bless her.  Her husband praises her.
Reality:  My children often tell me how I am the only mom in the whole entire school that doesn't volunteer all the time and how they wish I would be more like so-n-so's mom.  My husband does praise me but I think it may be because he knows my love language is words of affirmation.

I think you get the picture.  I'm usually falling woefully short of the P31 woman standards.  But you know what?  This wonder woman isn't reality.  But reading about her can help me to evaluate and set some goals for my life.  Look over this passage every now and then for a reality check and to take inventory of your own life, but don't hold yourself up to that standard.  God loves you and is changing you one day at a time.  This can take a lifetime to do!  In the meantime, thank God for the small victories you have as you become more and more like Christ with each day.  He does love you - no matter how much like wonder woman you are (or aren't)!

On a side note, I just told my husband that I can't believe how UNlike the Proverbs 31 woman I feel I am.  He said "Maybe you're more like the Proverbs 3.1 woman?" 

Gee.  Thanks, honey. 

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