Drastic Decisions

You cannot escape the news about Angelina Jolie's recent decision to have a double mastectomy because of test results that showed she has the same gene her mother had that gives her an 85% higher risk of developing breast cancer and a 50% higher risk of developing ovarian cancer. There are a ton of responses all over the internet - both supporting of her and some, well, not-so-much. Everyone seems to have an opinion!

Personally, it just got me thinking. A few years ago, I had the same test done after learning my mother had ovarian cancer in her 30's. My mother's cancer was caught early - she was having a hysterectomy for something else when they removed the ovary and found it was in the beginning phases of cancer. I'm thankful they caught it early - this disease can be vicious. And it can be inherited, too. That's why I had the test done.

My results were negative for the gene, but if they had been positive, what would I have done? I honestly don't know. It's so hard to know what one would do in a situation unless they are actually in the middle of it. I remember saying to my friend, who had cancer, that I didn't know how she was able to stay so strong. She simply said, "I have no choice." It made me realize that when the Bible tell us that God gives us grace to go through what we must go through, He means it.  And it also made me realize that He doesn't give us grace when we just imagine going through it.

I'm not going to judge Angelina because I've never walked in her shoes. I didn't witness my mother slowly pass away from ovarian cancer like she did.  I have not been through the things she has been through, so how could I know if what she did was over-kill or necessary?  I just know that my heart breaks as I realized that in order to avoid the possibility of a drastic diagnosis, she had to take drastic measures. And she did it for her family.

I'm not sure what decision you are faced with today, but I know you probably have at least one big decision to make and it could be a decision that will forever change your life. And I know that God's grace will be sufficient to get you through it. He will give you wisdom to know what is best for you. He will give you discernment to know which way to go.  You just have to ask.

So we praise God for the glorious grace He has poured out on us who belong to His dear Son. -Ephesians 1:6

Pinterest FAIL

I can’t seem to get into Pinterest. I’ve tried, I really have. But honestly, everything I’ve tried on Pinterest has been a complete failure so being on the website is a tad depressing for me. I’m not crafty. My idea of crafts is a crayon and coloring books.  I don’t cook fancy meals. My idea of cooking a fancy meal is making a casserole. I’m definitely not a fashionista. My idea of dressing up is wearing jeans instead of sweatpants. You get the picture.

So, you can imagine how incredibly giddy I felt when I came across the website www.pinterestfail.com!  Oh my goodness.  This is me, in a website form!  I realized quickly I’m not alone. Others mess up too – and they have a sense of humor about it instead of allowing it to sink them into the depths of comparison despair.

If Pinterest Envy has you feeling down in the dumps, take a trip to the alternative website that will embrace all of your imperfectness. I’ll see you on www.pinterestfail.com! (smile)

-Leslie

Letter to a Friend

When I was a contestant on Survivor, I was able to spend a lot of time with people from all walks of life. After all, apart from challenges and survival stuff, all we had was time! The days were long and the nights were longer, but they led to some very interesting and deep conversations. I became very close to these people.

One of the most common things I heard from my tribe mates when they spoke of Christians they had met in their life was that they felt very judged and very shunned by them. This broke my heart. After all, Jesus never shunned us. He came right to us, to save us from that sin that separated us from God. He showed us how to love people, regardless of how “sinful” we think they are and how to serve people instead of demanding to be served. After all, didn’t He love us enough to reach out to us? Aren’t we sinners, too?

When I returned from China, this weighed heavy on my heart so much that I wrote a poem about it (below). I’m sure I’ve given this impression at times. I’m sure I’ve acted self-righteous and prideful at times. But it really breaks my heart to think I may have hurt someone like that. It made me realize that we can be the very reason people excuse themselves from church, from Christianity and from Jesus, Himself. It’s not his fault we sometimes act like that. His heart must break, too.

I hope you enjoy the poem. Thanks for taking the time to prayerfully read through it.

Blessings! -Leslie

Spring!

My yard when we first bought the house. The picture on the right is more recent!

Between the sneezes and swollen eyes, I’ve noticed something incredible about this Spring. I’m appreciating it on a whole new level. Maybe it’s because we now live on four acres of beautiful land, something we’ve never done before. We usually live in a housing development for the low-maintenance and close neighbors. But now we are surrounded not by neighbors, but by nature.

This year, I’m really appreciating the new life that is all around us as I watch the trees bud and begin to fill out and the flowers make their struggle from a bud to a beautiful adornment in our yard. Every day I see a new flower or bud that makes my heart jump! It’s like Christmas in April!

Just a month or so ago, we all thought we had a pretty yard, but the trees were bare and there were no flowers yet. We bought the house in the fall, so we never saw how the yard looked when the trees were at their best, but we still fell in love with it. Now we feel overwhelmed as we see all of the beauty as things are coming to life again.

There are days in my life when I feel just like those bare trees and dormant flowers. Like hope is a million miles away – sometimes non-existent. But today as I sit here looking out my window, I feel God is reminding me that hope is always there. Always. And spring always comes. New life can come. The pruning I go through is for a beautiful purpose and has incredible potential to make me even healthier than before. But it can be painful and it can seem like a long and dreary season. During those dormant times, God still looked at me and thought I was beautiful, though. So He bought me at a high price because He thought I was worth it. And when I go through tough times in life, He never leaves me.

Spring is here today, though. And I’m thankful that the hope that Christ brings to my life ensures that no matter how dark of a season I have, no matter how far back I get pruned, no matter how lifeless I feel…spring is just around the corner. New life is promised to all of God’s children!

My heart is overwhelmed.

Hosea 6:3 “Oh, that we might know the Lord! Let us press on to know him. He will respond to us as surely as the arrival of dawn or the coming of rains in early spring.”

The Heavy Load

One night a few years back, my youngest daughter was having a hard time with fear. She was watching a TV show that was very family friendly, but the commercials in between were horrific! Lots of horror films were being advertised because it was close to Halloween. I have no idea why the people who sell ads for family friendly shows think it's appropriate to show these commercials, but I digress.

Anyway, once Peyton got a picture in her head, she just couldn't shake it and even though she knew all the scriptures, knew all the ways to try to not think about it, I think the enemy just used it against her. She's super sensitive to those things for some reason. So that night, she was crying and shaking and asking to sleep with me (again).

I took her out on the couch, snuggled with her and chatted with her calmly. I said, "Peyton, if you were carrying 2 big sacks of potatoes and they were really, really heavy - to the point of your arms burning and you feeling you couldn't take another step, but then Jesus comes along with His big, strong arms and His loving heart to help you and says 'Peyton, may I carry those sacks for you?' then what would you do?

She thought for a moment and said, "I'd give Him one of the sacks and keep the other I guess so He wouldn't have to struggle so much." I paused and realized my point had been sort of detoured, but then answered, "OK, but what if He really wanted to carry both of them and let you rest awhile? What if He insisted that He take both?" She said, "Oh, then I'd give Him both but I'd walk beside Him so we could talk and He wouldn't be alone."

Wow.

I told her, "Well, Jesus tells us He wants to carry our fears and our problems because it's more than we can handle. He has big, strong arms to do that for us but for some reason we try to hold on to our problems. Do you think you could picture yourself giving your problems to Him?" She said she could and as her tears saturated my shirt, I saw a little smile for the first time. It was precious.

As I tried to drift off to sleep I couldn't help but see my daughter takes after me in a lot of ways. I often try to "help Jesus out" by carrying just some of my problems and burdens. Yet, He says He wants them all. Why don't I just give them all to Him?

How cool that Peyton realized that once she gave the load to Jesus, she wanted to walk with Him and talk to Him. That's just so rich in meaning, though I'm sure she didn't mean for it to be. In her childhood innocence, she realizes that her relationship with Jesus is important and she wants to walk with Him as He carries her burdens. How often do I give Him my problems and then run ahead of Him, forgetting to nurture that relationship? How often do I take for granted that He is carrying my load?

The more I talk with my children, the more I realize I have so much to learn. What a blessing to hear the heart of a child. What has a child taught you lately?

1 Peter 5:7 Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you.

Spring is Here!

Between the sneezes and swollen eyes, I've noticed something incredible about this Spring. I'm appreciating it on a whole new level. Maybe it's because we now live on four acres of beautiful land, something we've never done before. We usually live in a housing development for the low-maintenance and close neighbors. But now we are surrounded not by neighbors, but by nature.  This year, I'm really appreciating the new life that is all around us as I watch the trees bud and begin to fill out and the flowers make their struggle from a bud to a beautiful adornment in our yard. Every

     My Yard in Winter                                My Yard in the Spring

day I see a new flower or bud that makes my heart jump! It's like Christmas in April!

Just a month or so ago, we all thought we had a pretty yard, but the trees were bare and there were no flowers yet. We bought the house in the fall, so we never saw how the yard looked when the trees were at their best, but we still fell in love with it. Now we feel overwhelmed as we see all of the beauty as things are coming to life again.

There are days in my life when I feel just like those bare trees and dormant flowers. Like hope is a million miles away - sometimes non-existent. But today as I sit here looking out my window, I feel God is reminding me that hope is always there. Always. And spring always comes. New life can come. The pruning I go through is for a beautiful purpose and has incredible potential to make me even healthier than before. But it can be painful and it can seem like a long and dreary season. During those dormant times, God still looked at me and thought I was beautiful, though. So He bought me at a high price because He thought I was worth it. And when I go through tough times in life, He never leaves me.

Spring is here today, though. And I'm thankful that the hope that Christ brings to my life ensures that no matter how dark of a season I have, no matter how far back I get pruned, no matter how lifeless I feel...spring is just around the corner. New life is promised to all of God's children!

My heart is overwhelmed.

Hosea 6:3  "Oh, that we might know the Lord! Let us press on to know him. He will respond to us as surely as the arrival of dawn or the coming of rains in early spring."

Hold On

Hopelessness. Despair. Doubt. There’s no question in my mind that the disciples must have felt these emotions as they watched Jesus being brutally crucified. What was going on? They gave up everything to follow this man and believed He was the Son of God – the promised Messiah!


Just days earlier, the people of Jerusalem lined the streets while shouting, "Hosanna!" with palm branches and shouts of joy as Jesus made His triumphant entry! But now, there He was, dying a humiliating and horrifying death on the cross. Some of those same people who had earlier hailed Him were now cursing Him and spitting on Him. Some were, along with the disciples, weeping over Him as they still had hope He might be their salvation, their King.

The disciples could not understand at that moment that all was well. They could not understand that the plan was going just as God designed from the beginning of time. At that moment, things looked so dark and discouraging to them…. but resurrection was coming. Hope was around the corner! If only they had a glimpse of that coming glory!

Friends, if life seems hopeless, overwhelming or confusing, please hold on. There must always be a death for a resurrection to come!  Death of a dream, death of a relationship, death of a habit that you feel you can never break or even death of our foolish pride – these are types of deaths we all experience in our lives every day. If only we could have a glimpse of the coming glory!

Maybe we cannot understand at those moments that all is well, that things are going just as God designed from the beginning of time. Things may look dark, difficult and discouraging…but resurrection is coming!

Jesus’ death and resurrection bring us hope and give us courage to live through the difficult times. He has experienced the horror of death, the rejection of man, the temptations from the enemy and the pain of man’s brutality. If you are watching The Bible Miniseries produced by Roma Downy and Mark Burnett, you might be able to picture the emotions and fears the disciples felt a little more. It’s really helped me to picture it since I’m a visual learner. I’m looking forward to this week’s episode where I can actually envision His resurrection – the moment in time that made it possible for me to have a restored relationship with God!  The moment in time that made it possible for me to hold on.

Yes, things looked hopeless the day Jesus took His last breath. But resurrection came. And resurrection is coming for you, too. Hold on!

Don't Forget Me!

This weekend we packed up and moved several loads from our rental home to our new home.  As we packed, moved, loaded and prepared, our dog Buddy was getting nervous.  He kept watching us pack things up and walk out the door time and time again.  When we would come back in the house, he'd follow us around as if to say, "Hey, don't forget about me!"  It was so pitiful.  He wanted to go out with us each time we left, but we knew it wasn't time yet.

Finally, once we were ready to take the final load for the day, I grabbed the leash and went over to Buddy and said, "OK, sweetie, now it's time to go!"  He looked like he would explode with glee as I leaned over and put his leash on him.  He's so cute when he gets excited because not only does his tail wag, but his entire body wags!  I wish I could have communicated the plan to him all along. I can see it now..."Buddy, just relax and get some rest because once everything is packed up, we're coming back for you.  We would never leave you here alone!"  But it would have been wasted words, since he wouldn't understand me anyway.

As I put the leash on him, I realized that sometimes, I'm just like Buddy with God.  I see His work all around me and want to be a part of it.  I think sometimes that He's forgotten about me or that He overlooked me.  What I fail to understand most often is that He never intends to leave me out at all.  I was always a part of the plan but sometimes I don't understand that He's protecting me and waiting for just the right moment to bring me into the plan. If only He could communicate to me all along!  But more than likely it would be wasted words, as I probably wouldn't understand anyway.

That's where trust comes in.  Buddy probably knew in his heart of hearts all along that I wouldn't leave him, but the doubt is what made him freak out.  I believe that is my problem, too.  When I stop trusting God's plan and instead look at what's going on around me, I can lost my grip on Him and fall into seasons of doubt.

Can you relate?  Have you felt left out or looked over?  Please know that God has not forgotten you.  He would never dream of forgetting about you!  He promises in His word that He will never leave us nor forsake us. 

So today, if you are freaking out because you think you may have been overlooked, please rest and know that He won't leave you out.  You're His child!  Trust Him.  Nobody loves you more than He does.

Radio Interview About My New Book, "Wholehearted"

Here is a radio interview I did with Dr. Tony Beam, host of Christian Worldview Today on Christian Talk Radio in Greenville, SC.  He is one of the endorsers of my new book, Wholehearted.  You can get a copy of Wholehearted on Kindle, Nook, on Amazon (paperback and hardcover) and on Barnes and Noble or at the website of my publishing company, Westbow Press (www.westbowpress.com) If you want your local Christian Bookstore to carry the book, please let them know! The ISBN # is 978-1-4497-8515-4 (they will ask for that). Thanks so much!

Fraud or Flawed?

My kids see me at my worst – they see me when I’m having a rotten day, when I’m tired or over-extended, when I’m not as attentive as I should be.  They also see me at my best – and sometimes, when I take them with me to speaking events, they see me on stage, sharing God’s Word with people.  When I’m on the stage speaking, it can seem like I have it all together and that I have all the answers.  But that couldn’t be further from the truth.  And my kids know it!

One night as I was preparing to leave for a speaking engagement, my husband and I were in a heated argument about an hour before I was to leave. I was in tears and as I was leaving, I fell into his arms and sobbed, “I feel like such a fraud! How can I go share God’s Word with people when I’m not even able to live it out myself all the time?!”  He cradled my face with his hands, looked me in the eye and said, “You are not a fraud.  You are a beautiful woman of God who has a message to share.  There is not one person speaking God’s word who lives it perfectly.  We are all imperfect.”  Then he prayed for me and I left very encouraged.

I realized something as I prayed on my way to the event.  I wasn’t a fraud.  I was flawed.  There’s a difference.  I like that my kids and my husband clearly see how God can use a person like me – a real, live, flawed, imperfect but willing vessel – for His purposes.  I like how they see that a mom or a wife who may have yelled at them earlier (and apologized for it through tears) is still capable of being used by God later that night.  That’s how powerful He is!  If He can use me, He can use anyone.  I hope they will see that He can use them, too.  Flaws and all.

Are you avoiding obedience to God in something because you’re afraid you won’t measure up to the role you think you have to play in order to do it?  Are you afraid you are going to seem like a fraud if you forge ahead and do something, knowing you don’t have it all together yet?  I totally understand that thought process, I really do.    But I also know it’s a lie.  Think about it – if God really wanted you to be perfect before He could use you, then it would be about you…not Him.  But it’s not about you.  It’s totally about Him and what He can do through you.  You’ll be amazed at how He can change you along the way, as you become more and more like Jesus.

Don’t be afraid to be flawed.  If you were perfect, you would have absolutely no need for Jesus.  A fraud is someone who pretends they aren’t flawed.  Be real, be honest, and be transparent about your struggles but most important, be honest about how God taught you through them, how He’s growing you in His grace and how He is forming you into the person He wants you to be.  But please…don’t delay obedience waiting for the day you will have it all together.  That day will never come this side of heaven.

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.  2 Corinthians 4:7