Wednesday, November 19, 2014

The Day I Said "No" When I Should Have Said "Yes"


She was in the lobby of the medical building, slumped over on a chair, sobbing into her hands. I was going up to the third floor and she was seated right by the elevator. I felt in a nudge in my heart to stop and pray with her. But I was only two minutes away from my appointment and if I stopped, I would be late. It wasn’t worth it, I thought. So I ignored her as she cried, stepped onto the elevator and pushed the button. The doors closed and as her sobs faded as I ascended in the elevator, my heart was broken.
 
Why did I say no to God this time? 

He was clearly asking me to reach out to this woman. I sat in the waiting room, and the doctor was (of course) late calling me back. It had been about five minutes and I couldn’t get this precious woman off my mind. I told the receptionist I would be right back. I stepped into the elevator, pushed the button for the lobby and rode down, heart pounding and praying she would still be there so I could pray with her. The doors opened and there was no sign of her. I had missed my opportunity. All because of fear. Fear of being late, fear of rejection from her (what if she thought I was nuts?) and fear that if her problem was too much, I would make it worse by not knowing what to say.

My last blog was a big confession that got to the root of my “misplaced yes” and my “neglected no”.  After I posted my thoughts, I began to clean my kitchen and remembered this day. What if I had actually said yes when God prompted me to pray with her?

But I didn’t say yes that day. Fear was my motivation and landed me in the middle of a missed opportunity! It's interesting to me that fear is what keeps me from saying "No" but it's also what keeps me from saying "Yes"! People pleasing is choosing to please people over God, no matter if it's in saying "yes" for selfish reasons, or saying "no" for selfish reasons.

Let’s take a deeper look at the root of the fears that paralyzed me that day:

Fear of failing. What if I didn’t know what to say? What if I sounded like a dork? Oh, but doesn’t God tell us He will give us the words to speak at times like this? And hasn’t He always done that in the past? Yeah, that excuse doesn’t float.

Fear of judgment. What if she thought I was nuts? Yeah, she might. So what? But let’s be honest. How many times have you asked someone if you could pray with them in the middle of a serious heartbreak and they said no? I have a feeling she wouldn’t have thought I was nuts. She might have actually appreciated it. But if not, at least I've been obedient to what God asked me to do. I've actually learned that my job is obedience. God's job is to take care of the outcome of that obedience. Another bum excuse.

Fear of commitment. What if she needed more from me? What if she was a life-sucker who cries at everything and looks at life’s glass as half-empty? Maybe she always cries. Maybe she is a martyr and nothing I could say would help? I don’t know the answers to these questions, but I know God prompted me to pray for her. There is no doubt about it. I trust that if He gives me an opportunity, He will equip me for it and whatever commitments may stem from it. How can I know her motives or her heart? I don't even know her! Yet another lame excuse.

Fear of being late and disappointing the physician’s office staff. This is valid I suppose. When we give our word that we will be somewhere, we should always keep our word. But we also need to remember that Jesus, many times, reprimanded people because they kept the law before they loved. Law over love never works. In retrospect, I believe with all of my heart that God would have taken care of me as I took care of her. This excuse doesn’t float, either.

If I feel I should say yes, but say no out of fear, I’m going to miss out on a blessing. The great thing about God is that He won’t miss an opportunity to reach out to others at all, but if I am not obedient, I miss out on that blessing of being used by God to reach someone’s heart. He will find someone else, who is willing, to do the work. He's God!

My prayer is that someone said "yes" to God that day at the physician's office. I know it wasn’t me. I missed my chance, I missed the blessing. But God’s heart was to comfort that precious woman and I pray He found someone who was not afraid to reach out to her and share His love and concern for her broken heart. In the meantime, He taught me that opportunities come and go. And I want to go where He leads. I don’t want to be left wondering, “What if?” ever again! God doesn't waste your mistakes. If you ask Him, He will show you the better way. Let love be your highest goal!

Three things will last forever - faith, hope, and love - and the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13

Monday, November 17, 2014

The Real Reasons I Say "Yes" When I Should Say "No"


My heart was racing as I stepped up to the pitcher’s mound. I knew I was no good at pitching, but my
church’s softball team was in a quandary. Our pitcher and our back up pitcher were both out of town and we needed someone to step up. I knew I stunk at pitching, but I thought, “Well, nobody else will do it, so I will!”

Famous last words.

I began the inning by walking the first few ladies. Not bad. At least nobody hit a homerun. When the bases were loaded with walkers, I began to get really nervous. I mean, even more nervous than I already was at this point. The more I failed, the worse I got!

Nothing prepared me for what happened next. I let go of the pitch and when I watched the home plate to see where it would go, I couldn’t find it anywhere. That’s when I heard the laughter roaring from both teams and even the people in the stands watching. I was confused. I felt my face flushing and my embarrassment quickly faded and turned to belly laughing when I realized I had thrown a pitch – to second base! It had literally gone over my head and behind me.

Oh my word. Story of my life!

I tell you this not to embarrass myself (all over again) but to show you a very vivid picture of what
happens when I jump in and volunteer to do something because “nobody else will do it.” Can you relate? Perhaps you’re the one who feels bad because ministry opportunities go untaken. People are un-served. Things are not being done. And you think that because you’re “available” you should step in and save the day, no matter what the cost.

How’s that working out for you?

My guess is that you’re tired, exhausted, perhaps even frustrated and even bitter towards others because they wouldn’t “step up”. Self righteousness may be creeping in.

How do I know this? Only because I’ve lived it. I’ve been the one to do this for a long time. My mom even bought me a coffee mug once that said, “Note to self: Stop Volunteering for Stuff.”

As I’ve grown older I’ve realized that I really do need to stop burning myself out. I need to ask myself a few questions before I commit to doing something that I feel needs to be done:
  • Is this something I feel God is calling me to do?
  • Will this commitment take me away from my top priorities?
  • Is there someone else who could be doing this?
  • What is my motive for doing this? Is it so I won’t disappoint the person asking or is it because I feel it is truly a place where I can serve joyfully and keep my other commitments?
  •  Have I given myself time to pray and seek wise counsel on this decision? Or do I feel rushed to make a quick decision?

My mentor once told me that if I say yes to everything, I end up burning myself out and honestly, I could be stealing an opportunity from someone who is truly gifted and called to do the work. I’ve always remembered that. Sometimes the things I say "yes" to end up being a distraction that takes me far off the path God truly intended me to take.

Please hear my heart here. I’m not telling you to say no to every opportunity and I’m definitely not saying that God cannot equip you to do something He’s clearly called you to do, even if you are not naturally gifted at it. Prayer, wise counsel and time are all essential in making the right decision. But look at your true motive before you say "yes".

To be completely honest, I've since realized that the root of my decision to say "yes" to everything was my fear of hurting or disappointing people. I’ve realized that comes from a place of fear. My fear is that others will reject me. But saying "yes" out of fear of rejection is really a selfish motive for being kind. In other words, I was being kind in order to gain favor and acceptance from someone and that showed a need for boundaries in my life. Fear of a person's disapproval can lead to codependency, which happens when we depend on another person's approval and acceptance for our happiness. It's a form of idolatry! But oh, how selfless and sweet it looks on the outside! 

In my desire to be "needed" I was not faithful to what God had actually called me to do. And let's be honest - does God really need me? He's God! He is holy, almighty, self-sufficient and perfect! He's invited me to be a small part of His work, but He certainly doesn't need me. I'm not going to ruin His plans. He's God!

I have learned over the past few years that saying “no, thank you” has not hurt me in the least. Actually, it’s really helped me establish boundaries and it’s given me time and energy to do the things God is actually asking me to do! And not one person I’ve had to say “no” to has rejected me. I actually believe they respect my honesty and desire to be a woman of my word. You can be nice and say no at the same time! (smile)

You will find your fears of rejection and disappointments are more than likely unfounded, too. You can take control of your life – one decision at a time. Trust me, God knows what needs to be done and He has the perfect person for each role. We can trust Him to complete what He starts, with or without us! 

In looking back, perhaps there was actually a woman on my softball team who had a gift of pitching and she didn't even know it? But I said "yes" so quickly, she never even had a chance to try. 


Sunday, November 16, 2014

Happy Birthday Stephanie!

My daughter, Stephanie, is having a birthday today. That means that twenty-five years ago, I was giving birth to her in a hospital in Reston, VA, terrified, very young and absolutely thrilled that epidurals did what they claimed! (smile)

I also remember being a bit confused by the wave of emotions that were very new to me. Holding your first child for the first time is probably the closest thing to heaven on this side of life. Seeing her eyes, her wiggly body, hearing her cries, counting her fingers and toes... It was more stimuli in a few moments that I ever thought possible! How did this perfection come from me? Were those tears in my young husband's eyes? I'd never seen him cry before.

Someone once said that once you become a Mother, you wear your heart on the outside of your body. I believe that. I've never felt so vulnerable, so proud, so thankful, so filled with joy, as I have since becoming a Mother. I'm so thankful for the gifts of my children. I proudly wear my heart on my sleeve.

I'm also so blown away by the fact that it's been a quarter of a century! That is just plumb crazy. How the time flies! I'd always heard time goes quickly, but I never realized just how quickly. I remember when she was about four years old and we were pushing her in her stroller on a cool night. The time had just changed, so it was darker earlier. She looked up at the dark sky and said, "Mommy, I think God must've cleaned the moon tonight. It's really bright!"

Gosh, that seems like yesterday.

Stephanie has been through a crazy year of transition and she has handled it with such grace. I am always so inspired how she looks at life. She has a way of seeing the lessons God is weaving into her life in the sweetest ways, even in the hardest times. What a gift. She posted on her Facebook the other day:
Tonight the Lord let me catch a tiny glimpse of what he might feel with all of us. I am working at a senior living center that cares for residents suffering from dementia. While trying to get a resident ready for bed tonight, I kept reminding her that I was trying to help her and I cared for her and wanted the best for her. All the while she was hitting me and calling me horrible names. It reminded me of all the times God has told me that his plan for me is ultimately for my good yet I kick and scream and lose heart. He knows what's ultimately best for me. I'm grateful for his patience.
Wow, I would hope that is how I would have seen it. I know that I would think twice about complaining or having "hurt feelings" over something like that after reading her post, though!

If it were not for this precious woman, I'm not sure where Rod and I would be with our faith, either. I'm not sure if you've had a chance to read how God used her in our lives to help us see His Truth, but if you haven't, please take a few minutes to read this. It's pretty incredible how God uses our children, isn't it?

Today, I'm thankful for the gift of my daughter. It never ceases to amaze me that I feel like I'm the one receiving a gift on my children's birthdays! I get to remember the incredible ways that God has blessed me with each one of them and the world gets to join in with me as we get to celebrate them for the entire day!

Happy Birthday, sweet Stephanie. You are so incredibly precious to me. I love your heart for others and your deep trust and love for the Lord. You give me strength and you inspire my heart to love well. Thank you for all you've brought into our lives and our home! Enjoy your special day!!

Love, Mom

Monday, November 3, 2014

Breaking Free!


My son's dog, Buddy, used to go out back on a long lead when he went outside.  We’d hook him up and he went about 40-50 feet out until it tugged on his collar. There was a little circular path where he walked back and forth.  He rarely even experienced a tug on his collar after awhile because he knew where his boundaries were.

One day, Buddy's lead was broken and we couldn't get it to hook onto his collar.  I let him out and just stood there, watching him to make sure he didn't go too far.  Well, he didn't.  It was as if he still had his lead on him.  I was amazed at how he continued walking the exact same path, no further.  He didn't even try to go any further than his boundaries.  

He was content with the familiar and he was trained to be "bound". I don't even think he realized the chain was gone!  I thought for sure that Buddy would realize he was free and that he would run like the wind, far past his normal boundaries.  But he didn't. 

Watching Buddy that day got me thinking about my own chains. I've spent the majority of my life chained and bound to sin. But it is for freedom that Christ has set me free, according to Galatians 5:1.  But free from what?  Do I act as if I'm free all the time? 

Not so much. 

I have been not only saved from sin but I've been set free not to sin and yet often I stay in the same place, wandering on the well-trodden path that I've made just inside my boundaries of the world.  It's as if I don't realize the chain has been snapped and I'm free to go beyond these walls of bondage - but I just don't see it.

How often do I continue to have the same negative thoughts when things get tough? 

How often do I worry and complain? 

How often do I make the wrong choice because the right one just seems too hard to make? 

Every time I decide to willfully sin, I'm acting as if I'm still in chains, still a prisoner to the very sin that Jesus set me free from on the day I received His promise!  Why do I do this?

Maybe it's because, like Buddy, I am comfortable and it is familiar. I've been trained to be “bound”. Maybe I am afraid to go beyond the "normal" and experience Christ's freedom?  I mean, what might He ask me to do out there?  What might I encounter?  

No matter what, I only know that today I want to go beyond.  I want to experience the freedom Christ died to give me!  I'm reminded that He is with me and He is guiding me - He says He will never leave me or forsake me...do I really believe this?

Go beyond, my friend.  Choose wisely today.  Give Him the opportunity to show you how freedom feels and trust Him to help you choose the right way.  The world believes that freedom is being able to sin; that being "free" means we can do whatever our sinful nature wants.  But that will always keep us bound in chains. 

It's not very challenging to go with the flow, to continue to make the choices we used to make that were easy to make but left huge, painful consequences.  We think that's adventure?  No way.   It's much bolder and a lot gutsier to go past the boundaries and break free from the chains that sin has bound us with into the new life of freedom Christ promised us!  

Now that's adventure!

Buddy did the right thing by staying in the safety of his boundaries.  But we do the right thing by running free, far past the world's boundaries that we used to be bound to!  Christ has broken the chains, my friend! 

True freedom comes when we realize that we are free not to sin.  Our freedom is exhibited best when we walk in the Truth - the new life He has given us - the freedom that comes when we choose what, in our own power, would be impossible in our own strength. 

Romans 6:14-18 Sin is no longer your master, for you no longer live under the requirements of the law.  Instead, you live under the freedom of God's grace.  Well then, since God's grace has set us free from the law, does that mean we can go on sinning?  Of course not!  Don't you realize that you become a slave of whatever you choose to obey?  

You can be a slave to sin, which leads to death, or you can choose to obey God, which leads to righteous living.  Thank God!  Once you were slaves of sin, but now you wholeheartedly obey this teaching we have given you.  

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Are You Pulling Away from Others?

When I go to the grocery store and run into a friend, I'm always excited and we usually stop and catch up quickly, but we both have lists to shop for, dinner to cook and errands to run so the time we spend catching up leaves much to be desired, though it is nice because it keeps us up on each others lives.  I call those the "grocery store encounters".

Then there are the "coffee shop encounters" I get to have with friends.  Those are the ones that can last up to three hours (sometimes more if time allows!) where we get a lot deeper in conversation, we talk  about things that are on our heart and really get to know what's going on in each others lives.  I've had far too few of these encounters lately, and I will explain why.

Lately, I must confess, most of my encounters with friends have been "super market encounters". I have had a tough year, where I have inadvertently hurt some people in my life due to some important choices I made for me and my family. We left a wonderful church and I left a great job - leaving people in the wake of my decision wondering why. Some took it personally. Some assumed there were big problems and that's why we, as a family, made the decisions. But in all honesty, we were just following God's leading. No big gossip or story. No problems with anyone. No anger. No regrets. But I have carried around guilt in spite of that! It's like I've picked up a burden that Jesus never wanted me to carry. As a result of me unintentionally hurting people, I have pulled away from many people in my life out of fear of hurting them and I've refrained from forming new, deeper relationships.

I've heard of people pulling away because they didn't want to get hurt. That's not my case. I, of all people, know that hurt is inevitable as we put expectations on people that are unspoken but assumed and they can never live up to them. I would venture to say that the majority of the time you are hurt by someone, the person did not set out to hurt you, but they probably just didn't live up to an unspoken expectation you put on them. I know this, because I've done the same thing with others and have been hurt, too. But I'm learning that is not Biblical. We can never assume we know a person's motive. We can never know their heart. Only God can.

In the process of trying to "spare" others from being hurt by me (I'm such a martyr...lol), I've realized it can be pretty lonely when you don't have community. God never intended us to walk out this life alone. 

How good and pleasant it is when God's people live together in unity! (Psalm 133:1) God loves when we are unified and in healthy relationships with each other. As a matter of fact, that is one of the prayers Jesus made right before He went to the Cross: "I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one - as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me." (John 17:21)

Relationships are that important. Jesus clearly communicated that our unity will show the world that He is sent from God. No wonder Satan is after our relationships! No wonder there are so many divisions in the churches and in Christian communities! We are allowing our pride and fear to determine our relationships and many are destroyed as a result. My fear has kept me from opening up, from reaching out and from developing intimacy with others. I have to trust that God will protect their hearts from me "hurting" them and I have to believe that He will give me wisdom as I seek out strong, godly, loving people with whom I can have healthy connections. 

It's like God shined a big Light on my fear and showed me what was holding me back. And now, I'm just opening up and being honest about my struggle because in 1 John 1:7, we are told, "When we walk in the Light as He is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another and the blood of Jesus Christ cleanses us from all of our sin." Walking in the Light means I am no longer going to hide my struggle, but I'm going to put it out there, confess it and deal with it. Notice - only if we walk in the Light can we have fellowship! When Christians get together in community, we call it "fellowship". Such a churchy word, but honestly, a beautiful one. 

My husband gave me great advice as I was feeling overwhelmed by all of this the other day. He said, "Leslie, there are people in your life already. Pray and ask God who He wants you to spend some more time with. Then, be intentional with them. Spend time with them. And don't worry about going out and connecting with a ton of other people yet. Just nurture a couple of relationships at a time and let God help you heal. He will then bring people into your life with whom He wants you to connect." Such great advice. I have already had a coffee shop encounter with one of those friends and plan on connecting with the other soon. I can do this! :)

I'm curious - how are the relationships in your life?

Are they more like "grocery store encounters" or "coffee shop encounters"?

What is holding you back from being open, honest and real in your relationships with others?

What step can you take this week to connect with someone?

I want to encourage you to take a step today and begin to heal. Our unity matters to God! And you were not meant to walk out this life alone.

Monday, October 13, 2014

Desperate for a Cure

Today's news headlines remind me of a movie I watched a few years back called Contagion. I would not recommend this movie to a hypochondriac. With all the talk about Ebola and other viruses running rampant in the world, it seems like the plot of this movie is pretty relevant. The virus in the movie spread quickly around the world and you get a glimpse at how easily it spread.  People were panicked.  It didn't take long for complete chaos to break out and for the people all over the world to get very desperate to get their hands on a cure.  There was even a guy who said he had a cure but he was just out to make money - he was bamboozling millions of naive people and they died as a result of his selfishness.  That always makes me sick when people capitalize on something so terrible just to make a quick buck.

The tag line for the movie is, "Nothing Spreads Like Fear."  So true!  These people were terrified.  At the first sneeze, it was a wave of panic as they began to quickly get sicker and sicker and within days the virus would unmercifully take their lives.  Of course they were scared, I would be too!  There was no hope, it seemed.  Finally, after a few months, there was a cure but only so many people could get the cure at a time, as the demand was far greater than the supply.

As I watched these frightened people, so desperate for a cure, I couldn't help but think I wish we would all truly understand the fact that there really is a virus that is worse than the one in the movie because it isn't spread - we are born with it.  But nobody seems desperate for this cure.  Nobody seems fearful of this very real virus.  Many pretend they are not infected or think they aren't sick enough for it to be a problem.  That virus is called sin and its mortality rate is 100% if not cured.  There is only one cure and that cure is Jesus Christ.

Why aren't we desperately seeking this Cure?  In Contagion, I was struck by how people would go to great lengths to get their hands on a cure that would save them physically - but spiritually, where did they stand?  Because when it all comes down to it, we know we will all eventually pass away someday (the mortality rate for humans is 100%, as it turns out).  Why is this not something about which we concern ourselves?  Our eternity is at stake and we are basing all of our efforts and striving on this short life on earth! Are we blind?

In a way, I suppose we are. I'm pretty sure it's because we are being bamboozled by someone sinister and evil who wants not to make a quick buck off of us, but to make us his victims, his trophies of deception.  Satan is the master deceiver and his desire is that we all feel comfortable in our sinful state.  He wants us to think that when people talk about him being a real threat to us and that we are all sinful, they are crazy.  He wants us to believe that everyone will be fine after this life.  His desire is that no one would survive and that we will all join him in his eternal home - separated from the God who so desperately loves us and longs to have a relationship with us.  Satan is not dressed in a red suit with horns and a pitchfork as he would want you to believe.  No, he usually shows up in a much more welcoming package.  After all, before he decided he was equal to God (delusion, by the way), he was the most beautiful angel in heaven!  Doesn't sound like a creepy looking, pitch-fork holding, cackling character to me. Don't be deceived, my friend. He comes as an angel of light and he's very convincing. 

If, as the movie states, nothing spreads like fear, then why are we not fearing God, the only One worth fearing?  The kind of fear I'm talking about is different - it's a reverence, a respect, a submissive fear.  If we fear God, we have nothing left to fear.  But here's what Psalm 36 says...

1 Sin whispers to the wicked, deep within their hearts.
      They have no fear of God at all.
 2 In their blind conceit,
      they cannot see how wicked they really are.

I'm here to tell you that Satan is a liar.  All of us are born with this "virus" called sin.  All of us.  It's hard to fathom, I know.  It's easy for us to say, "But I haven't killed anyone, or I'm not as bad as so-n-so.." But even one bad thought is more sin than a Holy God will tolerate.  Sin must be judged and according to the Bible, the payment for sin is death and separation from God for eternity.  But Jesus paid our sin debt!  

Maybe you think this is my opinion, not the truth.  Why not research for yourself, in the pages of the Bible, what God says about our sinful condition?  Here are some scriptures for you to read.  I pray He will grant you wisdom and truth as you seek the pages of Scriptures for answers.  There is a cure for our sinful condition and God has provided it because He cannot stand one more moment of being separated from us.  He loves you desperately and He proved it by giving His life for you.  His desire is that no one should die and live their eternity out away from Him.  He loves you.  Read for yourself...


Yes, the news is grim. Ebola and other horrifying diseases are a reality. But what about after this life? Why aren't we thinking eternally?  If we truly understood the importance of this, we wouldn't waste another moment worrying about things that won't even matter on the other side of this short life. We would be desperate for a cure.

Monday, October 6, 2014

New Blog Post

I am a contributor for Faithlife Women, a blog site that is an incredible encouragement to women! They are through Logos Bible Software (by the way - if you haven't tried their Bible software, you are in for a treat when you do!). This is my latest post from Faithlife women, where I talk about our greatest gift to God: http://faithlifewomen.com/2014/09/our-greatest-gift-to-god/

Enjoy!

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Grace Over Grudge

I know it hurts. I know you are finding it hard to forgive that person who hurt you, who offended you. Can I encourage you to make today the day you let that offense go? It's just not worth it. Do you really want to carry the weight of that grudge? I promise, it's not hurting them as much as it's hurting you.

What you may not realize is that the offense you are walking in is destroying you. It's destroying your relationship with God. It started as a seed of bitterness and it's grown into a full-blown kudzu-vine, choking the life out of your peace. And it has to go.

How? Not by your own works, that's for sure. Only by God's grace. God is the only one who has a right to be offended because He is the only one who is perfect and holy. And yet, in spite of how we offend Him each and every day, He has chosen to forgive us. He has chosen to see the best in us. And He is only asking the same of us with each other. Nothing ruins unity like an offended spirit.

Here are some Proverbs to help us along the road to forgiveness and letting go:

Good sense makes one slow to anger and it is his glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11

Hatred stirs of up strife, but love covers all offenses. Proverbs 10:12

Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends. Proverbs 17:9

There are more, but you get the picture. God is asking us to let it go. Division and distention are the only thing that can come from an offended spirit. The root of walking in offense? Pride. Someone hurt our pride and we don't like it. Does it really matter who's right and who's wrong? If we really boil it down, doesn't it make sense to swallow that pride and let it go? What does it matter what men think, anyway? Isn't God the one we should be trying to please? (Galatians 1:10) Our pride does not come from God. If the root is pride, shouldn't we pull that root up and toss it in the garbage?

If you are still with me, I'm going to assume you are ready to let this offense go. It doesn't let your offender off the hook - it actually takes your hands off the situation and allows God to do deal with the situation. He's got a much better perspective. We cannot see their heart. We don't know the real reason they offended us. Perhaps it wasn't even intentional? But as long as we try to hold something over someone and walk in offense, God cannot and will not work in that situation. He's waiting for us to trust Him and walk in peace and unity. He will handle the situation. Our focus must be on Him, not the offense. Oh, and chances are, you've offended someone at some point, too. Wouldn't you prefer grace over grudge?

Out of my distress, I called on the Lord; the Lord answered me and set me free. The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me? The Lord is on my side as my helper; I shall look in triumph on those who hate me. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man. 
Psalm 119:5-8



Sunday, August 24, 2014

Waiting on the Dream

Dreams. We all have them. Many of us have what we believe to be God-given dreams and perhaps you are one of those people. Maybe it's been a very long time but you are beginning to get discouraged because nothing seems to be happening, though the dream gets bigger and seems to be growing in your heart. Perhaps you are ready to give up and you're questioning whether it was even God in the first place?

I totally understand where you are right now. I have been there and will probably be there again some day, as I've been through this many times! Our timing isn't always God's timing. But the dream is real and your and my focus must remain on God - allowing Him to work out the details and the timing and trusting Him along the way. That is so hard when the dream is big, the stakes are high and our faith runs low.

I recently came across a portion of my journal from 2007 when I finally received a call from Survivor Casting after many years of auditioning. I truly believed being on Survivor was a dream God put in my heart, though I couldn't explain why He would do it or how it would happen. I just knew in my heart it was Him and I was faithfully applying, twice a year for over five years.  I really hope this will encourage you to persevere and not give up on that God-given dream! He has used this experience more in my life than any other experience I've had and I can tell you, it was worth the wait. :)



What about you? What is God preparing you for right now? Maybe you aren't even sure at this moment. Trust Him! He's up to something in your life, no doubt about it. Are you ready to focus completely on your relationship with Him so He can use you "for such a time as this"? Can you remember a time when a dream in your life began to come to fruition? How did you respond?

Esther 4:14 "If you keep quiet at a time like this, deliverance and relief for the Jews will arise from some other place, but you and your relatives will die. Who knows if perhaps you were made Queen for such a time as this? 

Philippians 4:13 For I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength.

Friday, August 15, 2014

Living to Please


I recently felt like I was wading in a mud pit - like quick sand. Everything seemed hard.  I'd been tired and cranky.  My husband tells me it's because I live life at a chaotic pace.  That was tough to hear, but he was right.  I don't know why I tend to live my life like this.  It's like I enjoy chaos or something, yet down deep, I long for peace and order.  The Bible tells me I'm to live peacefully and that I should let the peace of Christ rule in my heart.  Sure doesn't sound like me lately, though! 

Super Mom!

I suppose my mud puddle, which turned quickly to a mud pit, began when I decided I was going to be the "perfect mom" now that I've left my morning show position and have decided to spend more time focusing on my family and home responsibilities. Specifically, trying to be a better wife to my husband who works so hard every day. I had the image of June Cleaver in my head - I should've known I was headed for trouble! (smile)

There is a verse that is in Proverbs 31 that talks about the ideal woman - the woman I strive to be but never quite live up to.  But in verse 12 it says, "She brings him (her husband) good, not harm, all the days of her life." Lately, I've been measuring everything I do on whether or not I'm bringing good or harm to my husband with each decision I make.  Every chore I do.  Every choice I make.  Am I bringing him harm or good?  

Too many times, it seems I'm making decisions that bring him harm.  Like when I don't remember to do things because I didn't make a list that he asked me to make.  Or when I don't have dinner ready when he comes home because we've been so busy throughout the day (doing things at a chaotic pace).  Or when I do the chores instead of having our children do them (which makes my life much easier, but doesn't teach them anything). Or when the house is a disaster, even though I know my husband loves order.

The problem is, when I live this way, I go into panic-mode when I don't measure up.  I feel like when I mess up or do something wrong, it's sending him a message of "I don't care what you want" or "I have better things to do and you don't matter."  And then I begin to panic and make decisions that seem to only make things worse!  It's a vicious cycle.

So I talked to him about it.  He said something very true...very wise (he's like that).  He said, "You have to stop doing things that are motivated by your desire to please me.  You should be measuring things based on what pleases God and what you know is right.  My desires and expectations shouldn't be your motivation."  This was an ah-ha moment for me.  And hearing it from him was very freeing!  I felt like he understood that often his expectations are probably more than they should be.  But he knew that if I put God first, everything else would fall into place. 

Anytime I do something out of a desire to please someone besides God, I will get myself into trouble.  Yes, I should want to please my husband...but that comes from living to please God first.  He's the one who will guide and direct me the way I should go.  But I cannot consistently live up to the expectations a person puts onto me.  I just can't.  People don't know our hearts, don't know what we've done all day, don't know what we've accomplished or what we've been struggling with.  But God does.  He measures our actions not on unrealistic expectations, but on truth. 

I told my husband, "You know when I don't do everything the way you expect or desire, I want you to know that it doesn't mean I don't love or respect you.  I never do that intentionally.  I never want to hurt you or make life harder for you. I have good intentions, but sometimes things just are not going to be the way you would expect."  His reply to me was "I want you to know that when my expectations are not met, that doesn't mean I don't love you either - it just means I'm disappointed.  But I will always love you - nothing will change that."  Wow...I think I forget that sometimes.  Just because I don't always measure up as the "perfect wife" doesn't mean he doesn't love me.  And just because I don't always meet his expectations that doesn't mean I don't love him. 

Galatians 1:10 says "Obviously, I'm not trying to win the approval of people, but of God.  If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ's servant."  And Matthew 6:33 says "Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you."  When I seek to please others above pleasing God, I'm just looking for trouble. 

Lord, thank you for showing me the truth. Now....teach me to walk in this truth! And help me to love and serve my family well.

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