Thursday, October 1, 2009

Germ-A-Phobe

I was at a ladies retreat this weekend and at one point we were sitting at a round table and after our discussion we held hands and said a prayer.  It was a sweet, intimate moment!  But later on, my girlfriend told me how she giggled to herself when right after the prayer, I took my hand sanitizer and cleaned my hands right in front of everyone!  I don't even remember doing that.  I'm horrified that I did it, too!  It must have been subconscious.  I hope nobody was offended.  I can be such a goober sometimes.


Anyway, I began to wonder why I would do such a thing, even if it was subconscious.  I suppose it's because I know that the flu is going around and I'm way too undisciplined to keep my hands away from my eyes, nose and mouth.  I use hand sanitizer more and wash my hands more often than I ever have!  Keeping my hands away from my face is quite a challenge, for some reason. I even thought about how I needed to train myself by getting one of those Elizabethian Dog Collars...you know the ones that they put on dogs when they have surgery so they don't bite at the wound?  Yeah, that's a great look.  Think I'll go get one later.

My point in this is that I don't always realize how the things I do, whether conscious or not, are always seen by others.  I never want anyone to get the wrong impression, but sometimes they will, whether I like it or not.  I could drive myself crazy worrying about making the wrong impression (you've heard the saying "perception is reality"?) or I could hope that others just realize I'm human and know that my God loves me just the way I am - even if I am a wacky, germ-a-phobe who occasionally does really dumb things subconsciously.  I'm glad He loves me anyway! 

My friend laughed as she realized how horrified I was about the subconscious "offense" because she said her first thought, and probably the first thought of everyone else at the table, was "Hey, pass that stuff over here!" and when she told me this, I realized that I may have made a bigger deal of this than I needed to in my mind.  Why do we do this to ourselves? Can you relate?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go wash my hands.  No tellin' who or what has been on this keyboard....

2 comments:

a.helms said...

Loved this post. It made me laugh as I read it. I have several friends who do the exact same thing. They are constant users of hand sanitizer.

Julie Puckett said...

Wow.....you have no idea how timely this was for me. I have been eating myself up for months about something that I did "subconsciously" that has made me super sensitive of watching my motives in everything - little or big. But I can't always do that...I am only human. You reminded me this past weekend that I do not want to be here to please men, I want to please God! And he doesn't hold things against me when I foul up or do stupid things. He knows my heart, and that's all that matters! :-)

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