Fraud or Flawed?

My kids see me at my worst – they see me when I’m having a rotten day, when I’m tired or over-extended, when I’m not as attentive as I should be.  They also see me at my best – and sometimes, when I take them with me to speaking events, they see me on stage, sharing God’s Word with people.  When I’m on the stage, speaking, it can seem like I have it all together and that I have all the answers.  But that couldn’t be further from the truth.  And my kids know it!

One night as I was preparing to leave for a speaking engagement, my husband and I were in a heated argument about an hour before I was to leave. I was in tears and as I was leaving, I fell into his arms and sobbed, “I feel like such a fraud! How can I go share God’s Word with people when I’m not even able to live it out myself all the time?!”  He cradled my face with his hands, looked me in the eye and said, “You are not a fraud.  You are a beautiful woman of God who has a message to share.  There is not one person speaking God’s word who lives it perfectly.  We are all imperfect.”  Then he prayed for me and I left very encouraged.

I realized something as I prayed on my way to the event.  I wasn’t a fraud.  I was flawed.  There’s a difference.  I like that my kids and my husband clearly see how God can use a person like me – a real, live, flawed, imperfect but willing vessel – for His purposes.  I like how they see that a mom or a wife who may have yelled at them earlier (and apologized for it through tears) is still capable of being used by God later that night.  That’s how powerful He is!  If He can use me, He can use anyone.  I hope they will see that He can use them, too.  Flaws and all.

Are you avoiding obedience to God in something because you’re afraid you won’t measure up to the role you think you have to play in order to do it?  Are you afraid you are going to seem like a fraud if you forge ahead and do something, knowing you don’t have it all together yet?  I totally understand that thought process, I really do.    But I also know it’s a lie.  Think about it – if God really wanted you to be perfect before He could use you, then it would be about you…not Him.  But it’s not about you.  It’s totally about Him and what He can do through you.  You’ll be amazed at how He can change you along the way, as you become more and more like Jesus.

Don’t be afraid to be flawed.  If you were perfect, you would have absolutely no need for Jesus.  A fraud is someone who pretends they aren’t flawed.  Be real, be honest, and be transparent about your struggles but most important, be honest about how God taught you through them, how He’s growing you in His grace and how He is forming you into the person He wants you to be.  But please…don’t delay obedience waiting for the day you will have it all together.  That day will never come this side of heaven.

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.  2 Corinthians 4:7