Friday, May 4, 2012

The Letting Go Test...

Nine months of growth inside of my womb
And in what seemed like an instant, she was there in the room
My heart was just bursting – I could barely compose
As I looked her over intently and counted fingers and toes
Eleven days later, I remember so well
Was my first "letting go test" – her umbilical cord fell
The pain in my heart, I could not ignore
As I realized this test was the first of many more
I nursed her eight months, and then it was time to move on
So I gave her some cereal – yet another era gone
When she was five, it was time to let go again
As I walked her to the school bus, she wore a huge grin
"Oh, God! Please protect her! I cannot be there.
But I trust you are with her and you'll keep her in your care!"
And I was grinning, also, though my heart broke in two
As I watched my little girl learn to tie her own shoe
Little by little my girl needed me less
As she picked out her clothes and got herself dressed
A few months later, she lost her first tooth
(I cried like a baby, if you want to know the truth!)
This "letting go test" was a challenge indeed
When she took the story book from me and started to read
I blinked and in an instant I realized much time had passed
As she went off to middle school – she was growing so fast!
The "letting go test" intensified, I remember with dread
When I drove her to the DMV, and she drove me home instead!
Her face lit up with excitement as we handed her the keys
And she drove off alone as I dropped to my knees
"Oh, God! Please protect her! I cannot be there.
But I trust you are with her and you'll keep her in your care!"
My prayers were more often and more intense, I must confess
As she was gone more often now, and I saw her much less
My girl was growing up and I was completely shook
As she picked her favorite photos for her Senior Yearbook
And just a few months later, my girl turned eighteen
A young woman she was becoming now – what a sight to be seen!
"God, where did the time go?" I began to pray
As our family dressed up for Graduation Day.
She walked across the stage with her head held high
And as she took her diploma, I began to cry
But these tears were so different, more like tears of delight
My girl was a woman now and she was going to be alright
All the "letting go tests" that I'd had over the years
Helped me let go, trust God and release all my fears
The "tests" were sent by Him to prepare my mom-heart
For the ultimate test – when we'd begin to live apart
The day quickly approached and we loaded up the car
We drove her to college – it just seemed so far
We unloaded her things and we hugged her goodbye
And I tried not to do it but I couldn't help but cry
This "letting go test" was the hardest test yet
The drive home was long – one I'll never forget
But the sadness I feel is not the same as before
I feel such joy for her – there's so much in store!
"Oh, God! Please protect her! I cannot be there.
But I trust you are with her and you'll keep her in your care!"

-Leslie Nease


Joy Jenkins said...

Beautiful words, Leslie. And a beautiful young woman you've raised. I know you are very proud of her. And remember that you can always trust God with her; she's His daughter too.

Shaunie said...

Absolutely BEAUTIFUL! U have wrote into words ALL the things I feel, as I have two graduating next yr. :( I know they will spred their wings and become AMAZING women, but it is just the "LETTING GO" part that has my <3 aching!

Nanama90 said...

Reading this, gives me a picture of what my mum actually went through to bring me up. I have never really taken time to ask her how she felt letting me go. Thanks Leslie... God bless you.

Anonymous said...

Simply beautiful and exactly how Myself and many Mothers feel! Thanks for putting it in words<3

Anonymous said...

Can we get a version ofthis for sons also??? ;)

Anonymous said...

This was exactly what I was thinking today, I mean exactly, about my son who is going to graduate soon. God is listening. Thanks for this poem! Letting him go is going to be so hard. It will be a comfort knowing he will be in God's hands and he has been all along. Thanks so much!! Sheri :)

Renee Swope said...

Love this, love you, love your family!! WOW I can't believe the day is here. I can't wait to spend time with you and Steph more this summer. Praying for a wonderful weekend for you all. LOVE YOU!!!

Anonymous said...

I was posting on fb about today being the 1st day of daycare/pre-k for my 2 and 1/2 yr old girl, and my best friend (from 8th grade)'s brother shared this link with me...tears streaming down my face again. This hit home, thanks for the reassurance, that is the first thing I did when I got back to the car was pray for God to watch over her, I know in my heart he is always watching! Love your poem and your young lady is Beautiful! Congrats!

Leslie Nease said...

((hugs)) to each and every one of you! Thank you for your encouragement. May God bless you in your own "Letting Go Tests"! :)

Anonymous said...

Beautiful blessing from above because God used you to comfort me He sent you to the right place at the right time to calm my fears and help guide my tears to open my eyes to whats yet to come accepting that his will ... Will be done letting go is so hard but knowing God is never far makes it easier to step away when my heart begs me to stay

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