Maybe it's because the new season of Survivor has started that I'm having some flashbacks to a very exciting time in my life. If you have ever had a dream, you may understand my excitement when, after so many years, I received a call from Survivor casting saying they were interested in interviewing me as a cast member for the show. I had no idea where the show was going to be filmed and I had no idea what was in store for me the summer of 2007. I journaled my experiences in auditioning throughout the years and even journaled my experiences in China.
In the coming weeks, I will share different journal entries with you. Today I wanted to share the entry with you from my 2007 journal the day after I received "the call"...
March 9, 2007
Thank you Lord!! I’m stunned and excited – after five long years, my prayer is being answered about Survivor! I am stunned only because I guess I had just recently let my dream go – and had just pushed it away from my grasp. I wasn’t really even thinking much about it, Lord. But yesterday, in the car on the way to Target, my phone rang. It was a private number and I had a fleeting thought “Maybe that’s them…nah!!”so I answered. And she said “Hi, is this Leslie? This is Survivor Casting” and I about ran off the road! I had to pull over – my entire body was shaking.
They want me to send them an audition video because they cannot find one for me for some reason (which is strange because I have sent one every six months for over five years!) so I sent them one that was made last year in 2006 from a listener at the radio station. They said they like my application a lot and asked me lots of questions about my faith. I really liked the girl I talked to - she was super sweet. I'm already praying for her.
Dear God, I need you to please help me to stay focused on YOU. I get so excited in my flesh – I mean, this is a dream that I have had for so long and it’s easy to focus on it. Please help me not to – but to get on my knees even more now – directly in front of your throne. I am absolutely helpless without you. I desperately need your Spirit to fill me completely – to give me words to speak, help to get through my day, God I will need you to give me every single word that comes from my lips – help me represent you well!
I know that this is for Your glory, God – all You. Please help me. Please give me a confidence and conviction to be everything you want me to be. You are right now whispering in my heart, “Do not worry about what you will say – I will give you the words” and I know the reason you are telling me that is because you do not want me to worry – but to focus on YOU during this time of my life. That is such a wonderful and scary test for me – to stay focused during a time that is so tempting to get wrapped up in the “details” of the fulfillment of this dream. I don’t want anything that YOU don’t want for me, God.
I want to speak truth about what a true relationship with Jesus Christ is. I will be a fool for you, Lord – and I know You know my heart is true in this. Open those doors, God and give me strength to walk through them in Your power!
THANK YOU from the bottom of my very grateful and humbled heart, God. Help me to use this story to inspire others to keep trying…to never stop dreaming and to believe. I know that you are giving me this opportunity to do just that. I pray you will not let me get in the way. God, I need your Holy Spirit to completely penetrate every area of my life. I pray this in Jesus’ name – Amen!!
I still get chill-bumps when I read this! How cool to finally see that the dream I had for over five years was finally coming true. I knew once they called that I was going to be selected, but I can’t explain it any other way except to say that I just had confidence in what God was doing. I had so many years of dreaming and praying that it just seemed natural at the time. As I look back, I realize it was not natural at all. It was completely God, supernaturally allowing this to happen! I’m so grateful. I always will be.
I knew in my heart that He had prepared me for this time and my husband and I were in agreement about it. I read through Esther and realized that God can use a woman of His for mighty things…for such a time as this. I knew in my heart of hearts that I was going to honor God, but the thought of me getting wrapped up in the “details” scared me. I know how weak I can be in my human nature. I also knew by this time how strong God could be through me, if I only would allow Him.
Truth for Today:
Esther 4:14 “If you keep quiet at a time like this, deliverance and relief for the Jews will arise from some other place, but you and your relatives will die. Who knows if perhaps you were made queen for just such a time as this?” (Spoken to Queen Esther when her Uncle made her realize that perhaps she had been promoted as Queen in order to bring deliverance to the Jewish people. God prepares us and then sends us out. We must be ready...”for such a time as this”).
Here's the audition video I sent them: