Sunday, October 28, 2012

The Battle Begins

I've been posting some entries on my blog from my journal just before I went on Survivor in 2007, along with some reflection from today and some stuff to get you thinking about your own life.  Today's entry is my second entry after they finally called me to interview to be a contestant on the show after 11 auditions.  The battle began almost immediately - in my mind.  Maybe you can relate?


May 9, 2007

I have days when I am excited and other days where I’m just full of fear. Some of the questions and accusations that keep coming to my mind are:

  • What about your family? How could you leave them for six weeks? You are such a bad mom.  Everyone is going to think you are selfish.
  • What if you are killed somehow? You know it’s possible. What if this “dream” you’ve been chasing is the very thing that kills you off? Then what good would you be to God?
  • What if you get really sick out there and what if you end up in a Chinese hospital? Then what? Isn’t the water going to give you parasites?
  • What if it’s really hot? What if it’s really cold? You are going to be miserable.
  • Christians can’t possibly play this game. It’s out of your league – these sharks are going to eat you alive. You can’t maintain your witness out there. You’re delusional.
  • You are going to have a panic attack. Don’t risk doing that in front of the entire world! 

Oh, the list goes on. I wish I had more time this morning to type more, but I’m going to have to go. I do want to say that LORD, I give you this list of worries. You know my heart is to please you. I know you are in control and I pray that you will give me peace in every area listed above. I pray you will be in and around me at all times while I’m there and that the scriptures you have me memorize will be exactly what I need to hear. I love you and trust you!!

In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Reflection Today:

Oh, yes. I’ve heard it before. “You must be doing something right when you get the devil all uptight.” I was living this out - big time! I don’t think I’ve ever had such a struggle mentally in my entire life before. I truly had to trust God in a whole new way. It was excruciatingly difficult. Yet, He gave me the strength to persevere. I’m eternally grateful for that.

Have you ever noticed that when you run up a big hill, the closer you get to the top, the harder it gets to run? You can almost taste the reward as you climb closer and closer to your goal. Oh, but the pain is so intense and the mental fight is exhausting. All of that makes the victory so much sweeter, though!

It’s like that with a call from God. Often, the closer you get to fulfilling your call, the more intense the battle will become. Expect it. Prepare for it. And trust that God will give you everything you need to push as hard as is needed in order to reach the top. Don’t give up – give it over to God and allow Him to work through you. He knows you cannot possibly do this. That’s why He’s going to do it through you.

Truth for Today:

Exodus 14:13-14 But Moses told the people “Don’t be afraid. Just stand still and watch the Lord rescue you today. The Egyptians you see today will never be seen again. The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.”

1 Timothy 6:12 Fight the good fight for the true faith. Hold tightly to the eternal life to which God has called you, which you have confessed so well before so many witnesses.

Philippians 4:8-9 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable, and right and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise…then the God of peace will be with you.

What About You?

Doubt and fear are two ways that the enemy will try to discourage you during your walk with God. Are you dealing with any doubts or fears right now? What is the truth about those situations? Give yourself the “Philippians 4:8 Test” by checking to see if the thoughts you are having are true, honorable, right, pure, lovely or admirable. If they are not, you are falling for a lie. Focus your attentions on the truth of your situation and allow God to give you the courage to walk fearlessly against those doubts.




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