Wednesday, January 30, 2013

I Believe In You

Back in 2007, I was a contestant on Survivor China. I journaled often before, during and after my experience so I wouldn't forget the incredible adventure God had me on during that time. Here is a journal entry from the day I left for China for almost eight weeks:

June 16, 2007

Wow! Saying goodbye was so incredibly difficult today. I am at the hotel in New York now and we leave for location tomorrow morning. It all seems so surreal – like a dream or something. I already miss my family but I am so thankful they are so supportive of me in this adventure. What a blessing!

On the plane, I listened to the Bethany Dillon song “I Believe in You”. It spoke volumes to me. I felt the Lord speak to my heart “I delight to give good gifts to my children – have fun!” I don’t mean audibly or anything, but in my heart I know that’s what He whispered. The line in the song that says “I know that you feel like every eye is watching you…waiting for you to fall, expecting you to lose. But I see victory, so all you have to do is remember, I believe in you” brought tears to my eyes.

This week has been especially difficult because I was dreading saying goodbye to my family. Now that I have that behind me, I am going to choose to focus on the assignment ahead. I know I’m going to grow tremendously in this and each difficulty will make me a stronger woman. I pray for strength, wisdom, and comfort. I also pray for protection over my family and for peace. I pray safety over our entire group as we travel and that things will all fall into place smoothly.

I pray for all of those involved – the staff, the producers, the camera people, and the competition. Lord, I pray you will bless each one of them and teach them about you somehow in this trip. Thank you so much for your love – thank you for believing in me and for not allowing me to give up on this dream!

In Jesus’ Name I pray, Amen

My Reflection Today:

This was the day I had dreamed of for so long – and yet the goodbyes were so difficult. God says
that all things are possible, but He never promised all things were easy. This was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I knew that it would be two months before I would see or talk with my family again. It was bittersweet to be at this place.

Hearing the words to that song “I Believe in You” was so encouraging because at this point I was
beginning to wonder if maybe God felt that He had chosen the wrong person for the job! I was emotionally falling apart, but knowing He believed in me was like the push I needed to move forward in spite of my fear and sadness. I knew God would never leave me.

It was strange going from dream to reality. It was actually rather surreal if I were completely
honest. I felt like I had to pinch myself to make sure it was even real! But it was. And it was hard,
but it was so cool!

Truth for Today:

Matthew 28:20…be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.

Joshua 1:9 This is my command – be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

Isaiah 139:3-6 You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. You know what I am about to say even before I say it, Lord. You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand!

What About You?

Have you ever felt alone or lonely? Did you realize that God never leaves you, no matter where you are? Once we realize this, loneliness loses it’s death grip on us! According to Joshua 1:9, how can we be strong and courageous?

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