Saturday, June 22, 2013

Humiliated or Humbled?

Awkward. Yeah, that's probably the word that would describe how it felt to be at the Survivor Casting Call yesterday. Yes, I was a contestant on Survivor: China, but it was six years ago. Not only that, I only lasted three episodes. So, it was a bit awkward to see people whispering to each other, "I don't know who she is - who is she anyway? Which Survivor? She doesn't look familiar!"

One dude asked me if I was embarrassed because I came in 14th place out of 16. I said, "Oh, no. Actually, the way I look at it is that 30,000 people applied and I was 14th out of 30,000 - that's not too shabby!" As funny as it was, I'm not gonna lie, it was a bit embarrassing!

So, I was on my way home and was thinking about it a bit more. I am not easily embarrassed, honestly, but for some reason I was feeling a wave of humiliation. The voice of the enemy was blaring through my head telling me what a disaster that was and how I should never go to one of those again. My time is over and nobody knows who I am anyway. You're a washed up has-been!

Then, today I awoke and found this in my messages on Facebook:

  • Although we are friends on FB you do not know me personally nor do you know the profound impact you had in my life.  On July 26, 2009 I gave my life to Jesus Christ. I share this with you because God used you to reach me and for that I will be forever grateful. I was seeking. Looking high and low for a spiritual connection. I watched Oprah; I tried the Eckhart Tolle oneness with the universe concept. The Wayne Dyer and Hay House New Age stuff. Our Heavenly Father knew His sheep was lost and He spoke straight to my heart the day you stood outside that temple in China and told Jeff Probst you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Immediately, I knew what was missing from my life and deeply desired my own "personal relationship with Jesus". That moment began a true spiritual journey to today when I can say with all my being that I too have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. 

    My humiliation and the negative thoughts from yesterday have completely disappeared. Maybe most of those people didn't remember who I was, but this woman came to know Jesus as a result of my brief appearance on Survivor Who cares if anyone remembers me or not? It's not about me. It's all about Him. I want them to remember Him. And He reached into the heart of a perfect stranger to me and took her on a journey into His arms - and this journey began as she watched a woman most people won't even remember!  

    God is so sweet to send such a gentle reminder to me today. Today, instead of being humiliated, I'm humbled. Humbled that the God of the Universe took a moment to encourage me through one of His children this morning.


Kim Harms said...

I'm so glad I stumble upon your blog. I just want to encourage you that up until about 2 years ago, I was a Survivor addict. I taped every single episode and watched them after putting my kids to bed. I want to let you know that I vividly remember the episode when you would not bow down to the idol, and the thought that went through my head was, "Lord, in that situation, I hope I would be as strong as she is." So thanks for being example of following Christ instead of the world, even when you are in the spotlight!

Leslie Nease said...

Hi Kim,
Thank you so much for your encouragement today! :)

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