At the beginning of the year, I knew something had to change in my life. I was exhausted. My days were sort of a fog and my heart was heavy. I was doing too much and I knew it. I had a woman approach me at an event in late fall of last year and she was overwhelmed with all she was doing. Through tears, she looked me in the eye and said, “How do you do it all? You do so much! I can’t even handle what little I’m doing compared to you. I feel overwhelmed! What’s your secret?”
I told her my secret: I wasn’t doing it all. Well, I was doing it all – but I wasn’t doing it all well. I was barely surviving. I was good at pretending, but at home I was a zombie – walking around, showing up for my family but not really present. I was reaching burnout and I knew something had to give. Her face looked almost relieved as she realized I didn’t have it all together, either.
I felt like I was living a lie. So I decided to pull away from speaking and writing this year to focus on my radio show. The hours I keep at the station are taxing to say the least. I am up by 3:15am and though I am home by 10:30am usually, I am spent. The rest of my day is literally a fog and my family has noticed I’m not myself. So I figured if I gave up speaking and just focused on resting on the weekends it would get better.
But it didn’t get better.
Even though my wake up time is 3:15am, I have not been getting in bed until well after 9pm, sometimes more like 10pm. I wanted to spend time with my husband at night and a 7pm bedtime just didn’t seem feasible when he gets home around 6pm. Sometimes he travels and when that happens, it’s even worse because I’m the only parent home to be with the girls at night.
My teen girls are talkative at night. They like to talk about their day. They are involved in school activities. They have friends over. And I don’t want to miss a thing! God forbid I tell my teen girl, who is willing to share her heart with me that I had to go to bed! I seized every opportunity to spend time with my family. And my body is paying the price!
I’ve put on twenty pounds. I’m forgetful and tired all the time. My blood pressure is up and my energy is zapped. I’m “on” when I have to be on, but the moment there is nobody around, all I can think about is “When is the next time I can sleep?!” I can’t go on like this anymore.
So, as of this coming Wednesday, June 11, I will no longer be co-hosting the Morning Show with Rob. And I have to be honest; it’s one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made. I love radio. I love spending my mornings with you! I love our morning team! Jim and Rob are like brothers to me – friends that will last for the rest of my life. I’m so thankful they both understand my decision. They are not only understanding of my decision; they are supportive of it. They completely get the whole “tired” thing because they do it, too. They make sacrifices of time, family and sleep and they do it because it’s what they are called to do. I’m so thankful God has given them grace to handle these hours and supportive and helpful wives who make sure they get their rest on their down time.
Right now, God is calling me to be a wife and a mother full time. I will be teaching a couple of fitness classes per week and I will also be picking up my speaking ministry again and I have to say, God is already honoring that decision! In the past three weeks, I’ve had four offers to speak at ladies retreats – all without even trying at all. Just prayer and obedience. God just opened the doors. Blessing follows obedience.
That’s what’s so exciting about this: God is the one who is orchestrating it and as a result of my obedience, I will find blessing doing what He’s calling me to do at this season of my life. But it goes further than that – He will also bless His Radio by bringing someone on board who will help take this awesome Morning Show to the next level. And I get a front row seat at watching Him do it! I will still be at His Radio on a very part time basis helping out with weekends. They are my family and I love everyone here so very much.
Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your mornings for the past couple of years. I have loved every moment! I look forward to staying in touch with you via Facebook, Twitter and my blog at www.leslienease.com.
And if you need a speaker for your event, contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org and we can chat about what your needs are! My favorite thing to do is ladies retreats (they allow you to really get to know the ladies – pray face to face with them and build relationships) but I also speak at one-time events, as well. I look forward to what God has in store!
Here's to a new season!