When we were talking with the press prior to playing Survivor in China, I was approached by a reporter who was a little cynical about my faith in God. He mockingly asked me "So...since you're the 'Christian' of the group, does that mean God is on your side?" (then he snickered) I thought for a moment and then said, "Sir, God is on everyone's side. I just happen to be on His." He nodded, the smile left his face and then he said "I hope you do really well, but I don't think you will. This is a tough game for a girl like you."
As I reflect on that conversation, I must say that I remember thinking
he was probably right. I knew God was on my side. It didn't mean I would
win the million dollars, be the best Survivor player ever or that everyone
would love me. God's ways often do not line up with the world's ways. His definition of success is way different. God was not interested
in having me "win" or be "successful" in the world's eyes. He was more
concerned with my character and helping me become more like His Son. I don't have to impress Him, I just have to trust Him.
I did have an amazing, challenging, difficult, beautiful and painful experience in China. It changed my life in so many ways, I've lost count. He gave me opportunities to share His truth, play a game I wanted to play for many years and to this day He still uses that experience to grow me, shape me and challenge me. I'm pretty sure He will continue to use it the rest of my life. I was voted out third, but God was on my side. And He was by my side, too.
He still is.
I listened to the song, "You Are On Our Side" by Bethany Dillon over and over again prior to the game starting and it really spoke to my heart, so I'm sharing it with you below. I am pretty sure it had a lot to do with my quick, heart-felt response I gave to that reporter. It was a song God placed in my heart for "such a time as this".
God loves you, too. He's on your side. No matter what you've
done. He loves the widow, the poor, the thief, the whore, the sinner,
the saint, the rich....all of us. The question is not "Is God on my side?" But rather..."Am I on His?" He is captured by us. Will we be captured by Him?